The Surprising Secret of Getting Love from Another


What it really takes to create a thriving romantic relationship. Read More… Continue reading

Helpful Audio for You Now on Soundcloud


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I’m really happy to share with you that there are now really helpful audio seminars both short and long in time length now on Soundcloud. You can share them and pick up from where you left off at any time. Best of all they are all completely free! Continue reading

VIDEO: Does (or She) He Deserve YOU?


Watch this short video so you can receive only the BEST in a relationship. Continue reading

Risk Being Real in a Relationship Brings a Certain Reward


To share your truth is perhaps one of the scariest feelings that exists between lovers and romantic friends today.
When you take the risk to bear your soul, expose the real you, and reveal your genuine feelings, you become vulnerable; you may be afraid that your open heart will be pierced by another. But there is another dynamic you may wish to consider and experiment with, a tiny bit at a time. Risk exposing your feelings. Continue reading

It’s Not a Soul Mate You Want to Attract


It’s not a “soul mate” that you want to attract. It’s an incredible partner that adores you on all levels. Take the myth that a soul mate is a perfect person out of your mind. There is no “perfect person.” … Continue reading

Relationship Insight for THE ONE


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Who said you’re not fantastic? Who told you that you aren’t special? Who said you have nothing to offer? They lied! It’s all within you, and when you allow yourself To be All that you Are – you will be … Continue reading

Signs of Men Who Cannot Fully Love: Why and How to Understand It – Details


Do you love a guy who allows you to get “just so far” and no further?

Do you find that he pulls away even though you KNOW he really DOES love you?

If you have you been searching for answers to understand why he does what he does, and what you need to know, understand and do, this book hits the nail on the head, quickly and accurately.

If you want great A-Ha! realizations you have been led to this book so you can FINALLY receive the answers you need.

You will receive the answers that transform sadness and confusion to understanding, clarity and inner peace.

EXCERPT The Rose Group is Pay Pal Verified


What Healthy Relationships REALLY Look Like


1. What does a healthy relationship look like?

2. What do I do if I love someone and they keep hurting me?

3. What do I do if I love someone and they don’t want to commit to me?

4. How do I know if someone is right for me?

5. What do I do if my boyfriend only wants to see me when he drinks?

6. How can I help to heal the wounds of someone I love?

7. What kind of standards should I have in a relationship?

8. What do I do when I don’t feel comfortable “being in love” with someone else?


1. What does a healthy relationship look like?

A healthy relationship is based first and foremost on trust. It stems from both people being authentic, genuine, caring about themselves and the other person. There is mutual respect, and appreciation. There is an expressed desire from both people to be in the relationship, and for it to flourish. You would never do to the other what you would not want them to do to you, in any manner, and in any way. Both people are there for each other during difficult times. If there is a disagreement, it is discussed openly and honestly so that you can come to a mutually agreeable solution. There is compromise and acceptance from each person for the other, but never at the expense of your dignity.

Each person knows they are safe to bring up anything that they are not happy about, so that it can be worked out and not fester into more than it really is.

All healthy relationships require personal emotional and psychological health, as well as sobriety. How can you really get to know someone when they are intoxicated? You can’t! So it is vital that you are both straight and sober if you want authenticity and clear communication to resolve any matter that may come up.

A healthy relationship stems from both people being open and willing to discuss anything. There is no avoidance, punishment, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, or ill intentions.

There is sexual chemistry that is expressed in a loving and healthy manner, so that you can really make love to the one you are with, from your heart, and have fun while you’re at it.

It is based on intellectual and spiritual compatibility, shared ethical standards, and a common bond based on love that will endure any difficult time.

Healthy relationships take work on both parties. They do not just “magically happen” and stay “happy forever after.” Each person has to show that they want the relationship to work, and they work hard by authentically communicating – that is the key – it is healthy communication, combined with all of the above. If you’ve got someone like this in your life, and you love them, then you’ve found a gem!

2. What do I do if I love someone and they keep hurting me?

Are you a doormat or a human being? If someone keeps hurting you, first you can discuss it with them, and let them know what they did, how you feel, and what you would prefer. If they then change their actions and never do that again, that is fantastic! However, if they keep saying “I’m sorry” and keep repeating their hurtful actions the only thing you can do is leave.

You did not choose to come into this life to put up with abuse in any form. If you are not being respected enough, then it’s time you respected yourself enough to walk, permanently.

When someone really loves you, they will do what it takes to keep you in their life. If they are mistreating you, then you have to ask yourself one serious question: “Is this what I really want?” If the answer is “no, but…” then the only one you are bullshitting is yourself.

The more self-love you have, the more of a zero tolerance you will have for bullshit. It takes a LOT of guts to take an inner stand, and show it in your actions, for yourself on the outside. You are not a toy, or a person that has to walk on eggshells to wonder what is coming next.

If you can forgive the other person, and forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be treated less than the way you deserve, then you can walk away without bitterness, and with your head held up high. You can be honest, and the most important honesty is in your actions. If you threaten to leave the relationship, but you never do after repeated mistreatment, then the only one you are really hurting is yourself. You deserve to be treated exactly the way you would treat someone else.

This means that the relationship is equal and reciprocal. Anything less than that is far less than you deserve, and you will meet someone else that can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Never settle!

3. What do I do if I love someone and they don’t want to commit to me?

You date other people, and live your own life to its fullest, and give yourself the opportunity to meet someone that DOES want it all with you.

Real love never dies. You can love someone and still live a full life. You can love someone and not be together. You can love many people in your life, and still be good to them. But to place yourself “on hold” and not even give yourself the chance to meet someone else is perpetual agony.

You can’t make someone want to commit to you, or play games either, because they never work. Be really honest with yourself and ask yourself if the person ever let you know that they didn’t want to get too involved. If they let you know, then that is your answer. It might hurt, however, if you are getting the truth, you can’t change someone’s truth.

Imagine if someone was in your life and you really didn’t want to commit to them. They would simply have to accept that and keep in living their own life. That is really all you can do, and the most important part of it all is how passionate you are about your own life! If you are with someone to fill a void within yourself, that void will never be filled! YOU have to fill the inner void you feel with all you are passionately absorbed in. Discover your life purpose. The person can be a PART of your life, not your central and universal focus. There is a BIG difference.

Love YOURSELF enough to really LIVE, and swing the doors WIDE open to meet someone that DOES want to be with you. If the feeling is mutual, and you are communicating, sharing interests, and really being there for each other, that is a LOT better than keeping yourself on the sidelines hoping that maybe someday the person will change their mind.

Get on with your life, and have some faith that certain people enter our lives for profound reasons. Many times it is a lesson in self worth, self value, and self love. The ONLY way anyone will have the capacity to love you wholeheartedly is when they love THEMSELVES wholeheartedly.

There is nothing you can do to “fix” that, You can only heal within your own self, and that is exactly what you deserve to do.

4. How do I know if someone is right for me?

Do you love their company? Can you talk to them about anything in the universe? Can you tell them things you would never tell anyone else? Is there real passion in bed? Do you share similar values and interests? Do you respect each other? Can you be real friends? Are you there for each other during times of need? Do you know each other’s family and friends? Are you EACH showing each other in your ACTIONS that “this is it”? If you answered yes to those questions, and you can really communicate, then you are with someone that is right for you. How fantastic!

5. What do I do if my boyfriend only wants to see me when he drinks?

You have two options, because this is YOUR choice.

Option One: You can receive many mixed messages from induced intoxication, and receive even more mixed messages during those sober moments, resulting in much confusion and pain – Or:

Option Two: You can realize that you are with an active alcoholic, and if they do not want to get help, then the only thing you can do is open the door for someone that can give you clear and sober messages all of the time, and create a relationship with a person that loves themselves too much to destroy themselves in front of your eyes.

Alcoholism is a permanent, life-long disease.

Either you are with a drunk, or you are with a person that is sober, period. It’s like being with a person that’s a little bit pregnant. Either they are, or they are not.

If the person does go to get help at an anonymous meeting place, and is in active treatment to heal, then by all means, if you love them, support them, forgive them, and be there for them, as long as they are being there for themselves!

If the person refuses to get help, and remains a drunk, then your only chance for sanity is to GET OUT of the relationship, so that you CAN have a sober and sane relationship with someone that has the capacity to give this to you.

Give the person their choice. Allow them to make the choice for themselves. You have no right to try to force anyone to do anything that they do not want to do – including heal. You, however, must make the choice for your own sanity, emotional and psychological health, and really get honest with yourself.

It is deeply painful to be with someone that is a drunk. It is even more painful when they won’t do anything about it.

It is life renewing when they DO do something about it, and get the help that they need.

This is a process of deep self-discovery, and requires a LOT of patience on your part to be there for them during a most difficult process.

You can only have a sane and healthy relationship with someone that is sane and healthy. Please remember that!

6. How can I help to heal the wounds of someone I love?

The ONLY way you can help to heal the wounds of someone you love, is when they are really trying to heal themselves.

You cannot “save” or “fix” anyone, anymore than someone else can save or fix you.

We ALL have inner work to do, or we wouldn’t be here in Earth School. There is not one person alive that does not have issues to heal, unless they have really healed them in this lifetime.

If someone is deeply wounded, you can love them, and accept them, however NEVER at the expense of your safety and self worth.

So if someone had a terrible childhood, and they are hitting you, then you MUST GET OUT of this relationship – because this is ABUSE.

If someone has difficulty communicating their emotions, then you can understand. There is no such thing as “the perfect person.” Everyone has flaws, everyone.

It is the DEGREE of the flaws, and how it is impacting your life, as well as how committed the person is to you in the relationship.

If you are committed to each other, and there is a deep love, then be loving and supportive, always.

If they are using their troubled youth as an excuse to cause abuse and harm to you, then they are just living a life of excuses and doing nothing to really be there for you. So is this what you want? The choice will always be yours.

If someone is actively really working on themselves, and you are not in danger, and you are in a real relationship, then be towards them how you would like them to be towards you.

If you are being mistreated, abused, lied to, cheated on, then you are not being in a real relationship – you are being a real doormat!

Heal your OWN wounds, and then as you grow with more self-love, you will see the difference in what you will and will not tolerate. Always be true to yourself – this is the only way you can ever have the capacity to be true to someone else.

7. What kind of standards should I have in a relationship?

Each person is different, and each person has preferences that they absolutely could not live with, or without in a relationship.

Ask what yourself what you are really looking for in a person, and how you really want to be treated. Ask yourself what really matters to you, and what is not so important.

For example: Some people “must” be with someone that is intellectually deep and stimulating, where someone else would absolutely abhor intellectual conversations and intellectual stimulation.

Some people love food, a lot, and want a partner that also loves food, cooking, eating out, etc. Where someone else really doesn’t care that much about making food a central part of their lives, and would rather read a book.

I firmly believe that when we are whole inside, have self value, feel self love, and know what WE are all about, THEN we can easily attract a great partner that is our EQUAL.

It all boils down to your preferences. There may be certain things someone may do, like leave the entire toilet seat up when you like it down. Can you live with that? Some people couldn’t care less, and some people are fanatical about that.

Then there are character traits that can fall in the “must have” “must not have” and “can live with” area – even if it drives you nuts at times. Some people are more impulsive, and some are more methodical. One is not “better” than another, they are just different, and really can cause a bit of frustration. However, they CAN be lived with, as long as there is acceptance and tolerance in differences in character traits.

Some people love to travel, and “must” have a person in their life that also loves to travel a lot, and often, while another person may just like a get-a-way once in a while.

Your list of standards in what you desire in a life partner must be solely based on your truth. This way you can really have a blast, go through ups and downs, and still be in love when all is said and done, because it was based on truth the entire time, and that is something that will endure for eternity.

8. What do I do when I don’t feel comfortable “being in love” with someone else?

If you don’t feel comfortable “being in love” with someone else, that is because you have not yet fell in love with yourself first!

It is time for you to really take a good hard look inside of your heart, and up-root every untruth you have ever been told, every lie you ever bought into about yourself, and every insult that you have ever called yourself, and replace that with pure self-love, without an outward condition attached to it.

When you can really feel your own value, and you can appreciate all of the good that you really are, THEN you will feel comfortable “being in love” with someone else, without the fear that you will somehow be consumed, controlled, or lose your self completely.

No one can ever control or consume you, unless you allow them to do so. Start to allow yourself to slowly feel the love you have inside, and take tiny steps to show that on the outside. Once you see that the world is still the same, and you are actually safe, then you can take another step with more confidence.

You can only give what you have inside, so it is not so much that you are not comfortable being in love with someone else, as it is that you have not been comfortable really loving YOU.

True love for Self does NOT come from ego. Self hate comes from ego. So it is a valuable lesson to love every part of your being – especially the parts you want to disown. It is important to view ALL of you as worthy, and not just certain parts of you. There are many people that have many different challenges in life. Some physical, some emotional. However, each one is an inherently special and precious spiritual/human being – including you!

Once you re-train your mind to view yourself with more love and acceptance, then you will more easily and comfortably be able to show this to someone else in return.

© Copyright 2012 by Barbara Rose, PhD All rights reserved.

Did Anyone Ever Tell You About Life’s Difficulties

did anyone ever tell you

Did anyone ever tell you..
That life’s difficulties, the hard times,
The experiences that cause you
to find the will within to turn it all around,
are WHY those experiences are in your life?
Did anyone ever tell you..
That character, compassion
and deep reverence for humanity,
are often the result
of making it through the rough times?
Did anyone ever tell you..
the cornerstone of achievement
is pure determination and passion combined?
Did anyone ever tell you.
that all you need to deal with
is this current now moment?
And, if for some reason
You are able to live more than one moment at a time,
I REALLY want to meet you!
Move forward steadily now – the past is BEHIND you!

Barbara Rose PhD Logo

© Copyright 2009, 2012 Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved

Personal Alchemy, Turn Your Suffering into Gold

By Barbara Rose, PhD

I am sure it is safe to say that each of us has had times in our lives when we had hopes, anticipation, expectations and events where we desired a certain outcome.

I am sure it is equally safe to say that when any of them did not turn out the way we had wished, we felt some measure of pain, disappointment, anger, sadness, or turmoil.

Can you relate?

The purpose of this article is to change that. Just as alchemy can turn base metal into gold, you will soon learn how to turn your suffering into golden freedom from inner anguish.

Our human minds, thoughts, and beliefs have been conditioned for eons to believe that some future event will bring us happiness. As a result, we are constantly seeking.

We are projecting our vibrant and passionately alive state on the condition that once we have whatever event, person, material thing, title, award, or circumstance, we will THEN have happiness.

Our ego tricks us to believe that we are not sufficient at the present moment. No, we don’t have such and such yet; but once we do THEN we can be happy.

Does any of this sound familiar? In any area? In any way?

When whatever we receive is not to our liking, we feel resistance. It is the resistance to our deep belief that our current state of being is not good enough which has us hinging our happiness on something we think we need to acquire in order to feel happier. It is seeking in the future.

Please let me know when you arrive at your future, I would like to meet you! Shall I check back with you in ten minutes? Will you be there then? I didn’t think so.

Where will you be? In the moment. Please do tell me when you will ever NOT be IN the moment, I would like to meet you too!

THIS moment is an extraordinarily powerful and positive place to be.

The alchemy occurs when we fully accept this moment, what we have, and the situation at hand exactly as IT IS NOW, rather than resist it. Perhaps this moment may not be your preference. That is awareness! Perhaps you would prefer this moment to look different, but it does not. It is what it is, and there is a reason for it to be so.

Why? I’ll tell you.

Every event in our life is brought to us in order to help us grow from within to BE the highest and best version of ourselves we can ever hope to create.

In order to evolve internally, in love, compassion, confidence, inner strength, gentleness, and belief in ourselves, there must be an external catalyst for our growth. That catalyst is the circumstance we RESIST, or try to GET in order to believe we are, in fact, valued, loved, lovable, whole and complete as we are NOW.

Does this mean we stop doing? No. It means we start BEING, rather than seeking or resisting and avoiding.

If you find that you are catapulted into the throws emotional turmoil, then you are NOT doing one thing: ACCEPTING.

Accepting does not mean allowing yourself to be abused, or the abuser. The acceptance I am speaking of is stepping back for one enormous moment, and WATCHING your emotional reaction to any situation where you feel resistance.

Once you stop, and look at yourself as if you were on a movie screen and say: “Look at how I am reacting. Look at what I’m feeling because of this situation. The moment you can catch yourself and “become the watcher” (as Eckhart Tolle states) you immediately disengage yourself from the emotional drama of the situation. Then, you can ACCEPT it just for what it is. As soon as you accept it, alchemy occurs; you are no longer in pain.

Your suffering has been transformed into freedom from suffering. You can then look at the situation with some measure of objectivity, and if you can’t laugh at it, you can at least come to peace with it.

Going back to an analogy to nature, suppose you have a small rose bush in your garden. You WANT it to bloom, and give you one hundred perfect roses. It blooms, and gives you two instead.

Do you stomp, scream, and rip the rose bush out of the ground by its roots? No. You ACCEPT that this is what you received. Perhaps it wasn’t yet ready this season to bloom, as you WANT it to. Perhaps it will never bloom. It has NOTHING to do with YOU!

It is the same with people. The way they are, is simply the way they are. Circumstances are the way they are. It is in THIS moment that you can make a decision based on awareness, stemming from acceptance, as to a course of action or inaction that will serve your best interest.

You cannot make a beneficial decision based on awareness when you are caught in the drama of resisting what is, now. However, once you ACCEPT what is, now, you are then free to face whatever it is you are seeking, or avoiding.

Then you will find you are evolving, rather than creating a Movie-of-the-week miniseries out of your emotional turmoil.

Your turmoil exists solely in your invested interest in keeping the status quo, (if you are resisting) or in changing the status quo – if you are seeking.

Your personal alchemy is the golden moment of acceptance, which will transform your suffering into freedom from its tyranny forever.

© Copyright 2012 Barbara Rose. All Rights Reserved.