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How to Transform Your Life by Creating High Self Esteem

Self esteem is the foundation from which a life can be fully lived. Belief in yourself is paramount when it comes to realizing your goals and making the profound difference you came into this life to make. Self truth is the core foundation of self esteem.

If you are complaining about your life, immediately stop. Complaints will get you nowhere. In one moment, you can make the decision to create the life you really want to live. All it takes is a decision, backed by inspired action and the commitment to follow through. Remember that in the seeds of our deepest despair lies the keys to creating the transformation we want to see. Use your adverse circumstances as a springboard from which you summon the determination to turn it all around completely. No one else can do this for you. This is why you are in this life—to grow, evolve, transform, and make a difference. Start with making that difference for yourself. Then, you will feel inspired to help others who are in the shoes you were once in. Start by making that decision now.

00-0-arose  If you wish to better your life, then you must release all belief that by doing so you will be a better person. The key is in knowing that you are a supreme being just as you are and that “bettering your life” is just a means of self-expression. It is your divine expression to live according to your grandest preferences—not because it will make you better, but because you are serving as a result of discovering and expressing the best you have within you.

You are here to experience yourself, not “fix” yourself. You are not broken and you do not need to be fixed! Whoever put you down during your life lied to you.

Your outer achievements or failures never constitute your real worth as a human being. All you are comes from your heart. All you will ever be you were already born to be. It’s all inside of you, now. Take a good look into your heart and when you find the goodness that’s already there, you will know that all you need to do to feel better is to bring it out.

The people who laugh at you, the ones who ridicule you, are the precise people who do not have the courage to live up to their highest potential. View them with loving compassion while you simultaneously stop telling them your business. If there is someone in your life who is not fully supportive of you, you certainly do not need that person in your life. Start being your own greatest support system by removing yourself from unsupportive people.

011_petals_340x191 Build your self worth

Here are a few guidelines you can take from within to build your self worth, esteem, and help you bring out all your desire to be and express in your life. They are phrased in the first person to help you integrate them until you are living your truth on all levels, in all areas of your life, and genuinely feeling pure love and acceptance for yourself.

  • I remember that whether or not someone is in my life is never a reflection of me; it is merely a reflection of their preference, and I honor their preference without taking it personally and allowing it to hurt me.
  • I remember that whether I believe I can or I believe I can’t, I’m right!
  • I know that what I create in my life is an expression of what fills my heart with joy. It is never a validation of who I am, it is pure expression.
  • I know that outward status does not constitute a person’s worth. All people are equally worthy during pleasant times and unpleasant times.
  • I realize that my greatest challenges have been my greatest teachers. I have learned much from the difficulties I have been through, and I help others, even if only by sharing.
  • I create every circumstance in my life, and I do so in cooperation with others, all with pure motives.

Manifest the life you came here to live

Use the following guidelines to manifest the life you came here to live, beginning with how you view yourself.

  1. Decide. Decide how you want to feel, how you prefer to live, and how you prefer to create your life.
  2. Commit. You must commit fully to the process.
  3. Be Willing. You need to be willing to do whatever it takes with honesty, dignity, integrity, and pure motives.
  4. Let Go. This means to let go of the expectations of others, along with doubts and all negative self-talk so your passion backs your every move.
  5. Follow. Follow your truth every moment, and follow through in your actions with everything that represents your highest and deepest truth.
  6. Wait. Have patience with an ever-unfolding process and remember to enjoy the process rather than just live for an outcome.
  7. Experience. This is the last step when you actually live out and experience all you first decided upon. Remember to live completely in the now, enjoying this journey called your life.

Your creative expression is too important to stifle out of fear of what others think. Bring your creative expression out from your heart because you care that it makes a difference to your joy during the process.

Remember to listen to your body and rest when you feel tired. You can also go out for a walk in nature if you are able. Rest is so important, plus you’ll look a lot better when you’re energized and refreshed rather than run down.

While you are transforming your life, take it moment by moment so you are not just living for one goal, because that moment will come and go. Passion for all you are doing must fuel your purpose.

It’s super helpful to ask for support, such as a few tips and pointers from people who are where you would like to see yourself. While you are doing this, remember that people like when you show an interest in them. Let the person know that you would be happy to spread the word for them if they are doing something and would like to get the word out.

Being real, humble, and down to earth is a quality I’m sure you like to see in others. So remain humble, even when you do achieve success. Everyone goes through highs and lows in their life. Come from a place of, “I’ve been there and want to make a difference.” That will speak volumes to everyone. Think of the impact Princess Diana still has on the world. Her humble attitude was never cocky or status seeking. It was her heart that won the world over. There’s an old saying, “The people you meet on your way up are the same people you will meet on your way down.” This is not meant to scare or deter you, it’s just how life is—up and down, and back up again.

Whatever you are doing, never believe you have to win the approval of everyone. You do not have to explain your personal views or spiritual preferences to people who cannot relate. Simply share with people who can be supportive. If you feel negative energy from someone, move in the opposite direction. Block them on social media. Work in heart-centered cooperation with others for a win-win for all. This is so much more beneficial than so-called competition. Just do your best, and be your best, from the inside out.

A few extra pointers to help you during this process

  • Select your friends very carefully based on the goodness in their hearts, and for no other reason.
  • Admit your true feelings to yourself rather than fighting them and trying to make them go away. They are trying to tell you something you need to acknowledge and know.
  • Trust that any delay is a gift in disguise.
  • Set priorities for your daily activities according to what you feel most inspired to do.
  • Clear out any part of your life that you no longer feel excited about.
  • Remember that know you are the creator today of what your life will look like tomorrow.
  • Stay away from drama, gossip, negative people, and negative situations. Surround yourself only with people and situations that are positive, inspiring, supportive and life-giving.

Remember that no matter how successful a person may be, the truest form of success is a loving and pure heart. That is what makes the most difference. It is also priceless and eternal. Do it all with joy and you will become a true inspiration for many others.

© 2016 Barbara Rose, PhD

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The Complete Guide to Your Soul Mate Relationship Exclusive Excerpt

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The Differences Between a Match and a Soul Mate

Because of the difficulty in most soul mate relationships in many cases you may discover a much easier relationship with another person. Yet, the eternal bond of the soul mate union will never disappear.

Can you love another person who is not your soul mate? Of course you can. However, that indescribable bond will still be kindling within the core of each of you.

Why Soul Mates Have Great Difficulty

There are two reasons this is a most difficult union.

1. The bond will never extinguish.

2. The growth is so vast some people cannot do it all within one lifetime.

This is the reason for the saying “Soul Mate Reunion.”

You have been united before and most likely may reunite again. It is best to leave it to fate—to your destiny for this to unfold.

Stop Waiting and Start Growing

If you are apart from your soul mate it feels like torture within to wait for you to reunite. You may or may not. Can you imagine spending every hour of every day waiting for the rose seeds you planted to become a bountiful rose garden? That is the type of torture I am speaking about. If you are together or apart your job is to grow into your highest and best self, not focus solely on the other calling you again or growing at the speed you would prefer.

Each of you came into this life to grow into your own highest and best self.

Your soul mate will trigger this growth far deeper and faster than any other relationship you ever have.

Twin Flames

The reason you “know” how the other is thinking about you is picked up within your internal energy because you do share the energy of one soul.
Just like you can “feel” a gut feeling—it is energy communicated to you to make you aware of the higher guidance you are receiving.

The same is true for soul mates. You can be on the opposite side of the earth and still know and feel your soul mates energy.

Staying Together Forever

Eternal bonds do not always mean eternal togetherness in this lifetime. If this is the case for you when you think of your soul mate, send him or her transparent love and the best wishes for all good from the bottom of your heart without an agenda.

So many soul mates reunite after long and short periods apart because the bond, energy, the bliss can never be denied.

Think of it this way, his issues trigger your growth and your growth triggers him to grow.

A match made in heaven, yes, however living it out in Earth School is one tough job. Yet if you were not capable of such vast growth, and if your soul mate also was not determined to grow into his highest and best self then you would not have reunited at all.

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Excerpt re-printed with permission from the book The Complete Guide to Your Soul Mate Relationship © Copyright 2014 by Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved Published by The Rose Group (December, 2014) ISBN-13: 978-0990813811.

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How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think About You

SelfLovreRx

By Barbara Sherry Rose, PhD

I know what it feels like to worry about what other people will think of me. I used to feel tremendous fear and anxiety during that phase of my life when I was facing a choice of either moving forward into the field of broadcast journalism or into the field I am in now and will be in for as long as I live.

Fear of what others will think has prevented many people I have spoken with from following their own truth. Instead, they held themselves back and remained unfulfilled inside.

Nobody can force you to make the positive changes you would like to make in your life. Nobody can make your choices for you. Did you ever stop to consider whether all of the people whose opinions you are concerned about ever come to you asking for guidance about their lives?

Think about it for a moment. Who are “they” to begin with? Family, friends, neighbors, people who live in your part of the world? And what do “they” think? What if they told you they think the direction you are contemplating is fantastic and wonderful? What then? Would you then have a new worry about success or failure? Would you worry about whether you were good enough in your field of service?

You see, all of the above–what people think, what you think, success, failure, being good enough–it all comes from the passion you feel about what you are doing, being, creating, and expressing from your heart. That is all that matters.

Suppose you love to teach children. Does this mean that you need to receive the award for most popular teacher every year or a PhD in education to make a true and lasting difference for the children? Don’t people and children feel your care? Yes, they do. Don’t you feel it when someone truly cares about you? Yes, you do.

Do they need a certain title or a certain appearance to touch your heart and brighten your day? No, they don’t. What matters most is purity of motive. Moreover, that is what you really feel coming from other people, their motives.

If your motive is pure and from your heart, there is no such thing as failure. Whether a business succeeds or a financial venture profits has nothing to do with the goodness in your heart or with your true worth.

No one gave you this goodness and no one can ever take it away.

The feelings you have about yourself are completely based on how you view yourself. To transform your self-view to match your ideal, you can come to trust and rely on the process of receiving the higher perspective from God through your writings.

Trusting the Process

It does take time and many small experiences to build that trust. As you experience receiving new realizations, support, and the pure views you can have about yourself along with how to integrate these pure views, you will come to find that this process is so pure, and so priceless.

It is important for you to realize that your current level of consciousness, those views that you currently hold about yourself truly cannot be transformed at the same level of awareness that you have now. If that were possible, then you would have already transformed your views of self, and you would feel pure self-love and acceptance.

To receive the higher view or perspective, all you need to do is write from your heart and ask your Higher Self to give it to you. Then, re-read what you receive.

© Copyright 2006, 2011, 2014 by Barbara Sherry Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved.

Dear God, How Can I Finally Love Myself? Excerpt from Dear God, How Can I Finally Love Myself? (Published by The Rose Group, October 2006) ISBN: 0974145769.

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High_Self_Esteem_Rose The down to earth approach taken in this book gives you REAL answers based on HOW Barbara transformed a lifetime of low self esteem and self hate into the highest self esteem.

You will receive fast, straight to the point answers that are doable so you, too, can experience pure transformation and authentic High Self Esteem.

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How Do I Love Myself?

how do I love myself
By Barbara Rose, PhD

Too many in our world are searching for validation – for love, self acceptance, confidence, and how to feel good enough. I used to be one of those people. Here are some questions with the answers to help bring you more awareness and simplicity in creating pure, unshakable self love.

How do I love myself?

Love of Self is simply a view of Self. If you view yourself with a great deal of compassion, and suspend all judgment, then replace that judgment with understanding, and compassion, you will come closer and closer to love your authentic self.

So many people have taken on the views of others during their earlier years, and have not learned how to replace those views with the pure truth.

The way to do this is to immediately stop insulting yourself, cutting yourself down, and degrading yourself.
This is paramount! Instead of saying: “I stink at this” say: “I am doing my best, and that is all that is needed.”
You have to bring all of the small insulting lies that you tell yourself up to your conscious awareness.
Once you NOTICE what you are actually telling yourself, and if it is degrading, simply notice it without any judgment whatsoever, and then replace it with something more compassionate and understanding.
Speak to yourself the way you would to someone that you have great respect for.

Love for Self, and love for any other person comes from our views and perceptions. It is all within the mind. Our mind is governed by our thoughts. Our thoughts create our feelings. Our feelings urge us into action, and the cycle continues.

So in order to truly love yourself, you must change how you view yourself, and that can only be with complete compassion, care, respect, and honestly taking a conscious effort to change the verbal abuse you dish out to yourself when you are not even aware of it most of the time.

People that love themselves do NOT degrade themselves. I wouldn’t dare degrade YOU, so please immediately stop degrading yourself, and come to embrace your unique qualities. You chose those qualities and attributes for your unique contribution in this world. Honor what makes you “different” because that is your unique Light that you are on this Earth to shine!

Treat yourself the way you wish someone else would treat you, and always give yourself a heartfelt hug for the sacred person that you are.

rose-102 How can I feel like I don’t need approval and validation from anyone else anymore?

If you are going to base your sense of self worth on the changing views and perceptions of others, then it is like building a house on shifting sand.

Every person has the right to their own views and perceptions, and no one has the right to judge you.

It is solely your view of self that matters, because only you can live your truth!
You know what feels true for you inside and what does not. Another person cannot ever live your truth, or tell you what is true for you.

Once you start to honor what feels true for you in your heart, and simply go for it without even speaking about it to anyone else, you will come to feel a great measure of inner confidence that grows each time you honor what feels right to you in your heart – not your head, or your fears, but in your heart.

It takes practice, like anything else, and once you get used to honoring and following your own inner truth, you will no longer feel the need to receive validation and approval from anyone, ever.

rose-102Why is it so hard for me to love myself?

It is hard because no one ever taught you how to honor yourself, your preferences, your talents, abilities, strengths, inner gifts, and areas of self expression that are uniquely yours.
So if you were never taught how to do something, why are you being so hard on yourself?
Now, all you really need to do – which is actually quite simple, is to tell yourself every good quality you have on the inside in front of the mirror, each day, based on your observable actions.

Begin a dialogue to become friends with the person you see every day.

So if you fed your pet, that is being caring. If you called a friend that is going through a hard time – that is being compassionate. If you went to work so you can pay your bills – that is being responsible. So you are to walk up to that face in the mirror, and as hard as it will be for your ego to do this dialogue, what will happen is that you are slowly, day by day, going to become your own best friend. You are going to feel more self-appreciation. You are going to feel more care for yourself.

This mirror process truly works! I have taught it to countless people over the last decade, and I also had to go through it myself for over two years, every day, to chip away at the lies I was told growing up, and replace it with authentic truth, based on my observable actions, so my big ego would actually believe me.

Trust that there will be fierce resistance to this from your ego in the beginning. I actually cursed at myself my first time in front of the mirror over a decade ago. I wouldn’t dare curse at myself now! I can attest that every single person I teach this to, and share this with, now loves themselves genuinely. The ego is melting away, along with the self-degrading lies.

If you really want to love yourself, the old beliefs must be transformed. It is like cleaning out an inner closet with an old belief system, and replacing it with authentic truth. No one can give this to you but you. No one can love you and make you feel lovable. You have to know and believe you are lovable. This is just one technique that cost nothing, and brings about astounding change every single time.

You have to also realize that it is your responsibility to learn how to appreciate yourself, no matter what circumstances are facing you, and never seek to validate yourself from the outside in, because you can only be validated from the inside out. This will get you there a LOT faster than anything I have ever come across.

rose-102What can I do to really feel happy inside?

First, do the mirror technique that I outlined above twice a day, for two years. Then, imagine that you have a clean slate before you – called your life – and that there was a guarantee that if you followed your truth, you could NOT FAIL.

What do you really want to do with your days and nights? If you had twelve million dollars in the bank, and you already owned every THING that you have ever wanted to own, what would you love to do so much that you would do it for free?

What are the natural talents and abilities that you have? What are you naturally good at? What makes you feel so alive?

These are the questions that you have to ask yourself, so that you can get to the core of who you are on the inside, and then you will be able to live it, and love every minute of it on the outside.

The only things that make me feel happy are when I am with my children, when I am giving my private consultations and intensives, writing (this for you : )) working (in absolute JOY) on inspire! magazine, going out in nature, doing my hobbies, really enjoying the night sky, or a sunset – they are simple pleasures. Being with friends and laughing – that’s something we could all use more of! Bringing through information from Divine Source in my writings – I love every minute of it! I love to travel (sometimes) and there is so much in life that I love. So I create time to do it all during my days and nights. I had to CREATE my life, no one gave it to me.
You have to create the life of your dreams, based solely on what you love, and on how you can serve from your heart so that you are really making a difference.

For me, personally, there is no greater joy than when I am making a difference – that’s why I love the work (joy) that I do so much!

Many times I am volunteering and do NOT get paid for my work – like right now. And I still love it just as much as if I was paid ten thousand dollars for the few hours it takes to put this together.

You came into this life for a purpose. The key is to find out what that purpose is, so you CAN move in that direction, and live your life in-joy! It is then that you will be doing everything that will make you happy, because you will be living from the inside out, rather than looking for an answer from the outside in.

rose-102Why is it so hard for me to take a compliment?

Probably because you are so used to taking insults. I was there too! If someone complimented me I would say: “Oh, that’s not true.” Because what I really wanted was more validation. I then learned a simple technique that actually changed that. I learned to simply say Thank You.
For the first dozen or so compliments, it was really hard for me to do that. Then, I began to feel more comfortable accepting a compliment. NOW, I learned NOT to take a compliment seriously at ALL – because it is based solely and completely on the views of another person, and what is in their mind – which has nothing to do with me!

Additionally, I don’t take an insult personally either – how freeing! I can be completely open to constructive critique, such as when I’m working on a project, however, I no longer take it into the core of my being like I used to.

Just say “Thank You” when someone compliments you, and should anyone ever insult you, just know that it is coming from their own perceptions, and never take it seriously.

Moreover, people do like to express their views. So if someone does share their views with you, just know that they are entitled to them, and maintain your own view of self with a lot of loving compassion, and zero self-judgment – that is the key!

By your keen instincts, the subtle things you pick up on, and really being honest with yourself. Perhaps someone adores you and you may not feel worthy of that. So you may doubt that anyone can really love you for you.

When you really love and value yourself, in a genuine way – without all of the ego, you will come to trust your feelings and perceptions. You will instinctually “know” if someone is for real or not. The trick here is are you being real with yourself, or are you playing games with yourself, and not following your own truth?

rose-102How can I know if someone loves me for who I am?

We tend to doubt others when we doubt ourselves. We also pick up on the authentic feelings other people have for us when we are being authentic with ourselves.

Trust your feelings, and get your head out of the way. Move more into your heart center and dare to expose how you really feel – even if it just to yourself. You will find that when you are completely honest with yourself, and the feelings in your heart, you can then learn to trust what you are picking up from other people. You will trust yourself, and you will be able to follow what feels true for you. You will also know if someone really does or does not love you – you will know – once you come to know and honor what you feel inside fully.