I ask you now to look at the current state of your love life, your romantic love life,… Continue reading
Triumph Over Difficult Times
By Barbara Rose PhD
Yes, You CAN Transform Your Life.
This guidance came “through” me from God (by whatever name you feel most comfortable with when referencing divine guidance.)
There may be times of trouble, just as there are times of celebration. What is most important for you to remember is that many of your celebrations occur when you triumph over your difficult times.
Far too many people are seeing the difficulties rather than focusing on the growth to be made, the lessons needed, the higher reason for difficult circumstances, and the reason they are in front of you.
First and foremost, any difficulty that the personality is upset over can be viewed in a new light, given the higher perspective that transcends the lower view that causes emotional suffering, into the higher view that brings hope, resolution, clarity and most of all, solutions.
These times are truly no different and times of ole, and yet, the accelerated growth among the human populous has taken a quantum leap with respect to higher awareness in our current times, as people have before in ancient civilizations that existed long ago.
The key is compassion. Arising out of a need for resolution to anything that plagues your mind when it is fraught with difficulty or a perplexing perspective, compassion for yourself and all others is paramount to replace judgment. This means judgment of yourself and your circumstances.
You may wonder how you can suspend judgment of your circumstances when they appear to be everything other than what you would prefer. The answer is to go into the depths of your heart and in that place of still knowing that place of omniscient wisdom; you can certainly suspend judgment and replace it with trust.
Trusting that you came into this life for many reasons will lead you to discover that many of your problems are in actuality your springboard from which you leap into solutions once your heart and mind are aligned with a deep desire to discover what those solutions are.
Instead of resting with despair, rest with assurance that you would not be facing whatever it is that you are facing if you did not agree to go through this experience on some level, even if on the unconscious level, to help you grow far more than you ever could if you did not have a catalytic experience to cause you to search for answers that lead to the discovery of what that growth actually is.
Once you discover the growth, you have triumphed. Once you have triumphed, others can, too, by way of your sharing your process from your heart.
This is what all of humanity has in common with each other; all undergo a myriad of circumstances that extricate the suffering and evolve into wisdom that then spreads to others who are in need of that wisdom.
You can learn much from others, and you can learn much from how you are feeling right now. If your feelings are less than inner peace, then I ask you to begin to focus your mind on being open and receptive to receiving answers that will help you to rise above any unpleasant feeling and into the wellspring of purpose, your purpose.
So many people ask, “What is my purpose for being in this life?” I am going to give you an analogy to help you figure this out once and for all. Suppose you went into a restaurant that served every kind of food that exists on earth. Now, suppose you felt hungry. Would you ask the waiter who came to your table what your purpose is for being in the restaurant?
The waiter would most likely tell you that your purpose for being there is to eat if you are hungry. If you then ask the waiter what you should eat, he would most likely suggest that you eat whatever you like most. Now, suppose you were having difficulty deciding what to order, and you asked the waiter to just place an order for you.
In this analogy, he would say, “I am not allowed to do that, because that would be interfering with your free will and choice. Additionally, I am not allowed to favor one food over another because all are equally good.”
So if you were sitting there and you heard this, you would feel exactly as you do when you do not go within to ask yourself what you prefer in that moment.
This is an important concept for you to remember in this analogy. It is what you prefer in that moment. Would you think it is perfectly okay to prefer something different to eat two weeks later? What about two years or two decades later? Ah, this is what has kept so many people stuck with their life purpose decisions. You may have been taught that you “should” only do one thing in your life, for the rest of your life.
I am guiding you to do whatever you prefer, in each moment of your life. Of course, this comes with the guideline that whatever you do is harmless, and is only done with pure motives that cause zero harm to anyone or anything.
Now, could you imagine if you were taught that you “should” only eat one food for breakfast for the rest of your life no matter how many choices were in front of you?
I would venture to say that you would agree that teaching is entirely false. This is the same teaching that states you should do only one thing with your life for as long as you live.
Now, if there is something that you love doing, and you love it for your entire life, this is perfectly fine. However, there may be times when you might desire to give something else a try, even just for the experience to see what it feels like. To see how much you enjoy it, and to see if you feel your life feels more exciting as a result of what you are experiencing.
Let me take you back to the food analogy now to keep you on track with this perspective. If you love eating one thing for breakfast, and one day you decide to try another food, you know that would be perfectly okay. Wouldn’t you agree? I know your answer is yes.
Now, take that same concept and apply it to whatever you would love to do in your life.
Some people may have the learned opinion that you, “shouldn’t keep switching from one thing to another in life.” What if I let you know that first, it is perfectly okay to switch as often as you prefer, and second, that as a result of your switching, you come to discover areas that you really love?
Yes, I understand you have bills to pay, and you can pay them by going more in the direction that fills your heart with inspiration and joy. If you discover that you no longer feel inspiration and joy “working” in a certain area, then I highly suggest that you then ask yourself what you would love more than what you are currently doing, and begin to integrate it into your life.
You see, the one thing you have, free will and choice, is the one thing that much of humanity is turning away from out of fear of getting it wrong on some level, or failing on some level.
Back to the restaurant now for you to understand this; could you really “fail” or “get it wrong” by trying a new food? Perhaps you would love the food, and perhaps you would decide you will never order that food again! Aren’t both choices okay? Yes, they are.
The same concept applies to answer your question about why you are in this life. Earth is your restaurant, and you have the free will to order, eat, work, play, rest, vacation, love, create anything your heart desires, and you are perfectly entitled to change your mind, and your life’s direction any moment you prefer.
This is why you have free will and choice. And this is why no one is allowed to make your choices for you. The same choices will face you after this life, however, I will not get into an after life discussion at this time, but will only let you know that you will have free will and choice for eternity, so
it might be a good idea for you to do only what you love, and if you don’t love doing it, drop it! Responsibility? Yes, this is being completely responsible for your joy, and your growth. If you choose to remain in a miserable situation, do you think you are growing? No, that is called stagnating. Being completely responsible for your life means moving completely in the direction that your heart is drawing you towards. That is your personal responsibility in this lifetime, and no one is allowed to make those choices for you.
You cannot go “wrong” when you are going with what feels true to you in your heart. You will only suffer when you go against what feels true to you in your heart.
So now you see how important it is for you to continue to explore and create. If you change your mind at any moment in your life, this is perfectly fine, and many times perfectly necessary to move you into the direction you came into this life to live.
Oh, you would like to know what that is, yes? The answer is that you will discover it in the moment that you are listening to your truth. And when you do, no matter what anybody says, or how different it appears, your truth can be an answer to many people’s prayers, especially your own.
I guide you to have fun while you are in the greatest kitchen on earth, every pun intended, and order to your hearts delight. There is no judgment, there are only experiences. View your life purpose as a series of moment by moment experiences, and please do experience only what you love. If you are experiencing difficulty, your heart and mind can create a new solution, from the inside out.
You can create your own solutions, and you can create your own abundance. The only criteria is love – to only do what you love, when you love doing it. If you have a sarcastic feeling about this, such as, “what if I love just sitting home and watching TV all day?” Then the answer is that there is a lot you can do and discover while you are watching TV. You might even have a new idea sparked by something you watched that caused you to create something that is needed but does not yet exist. If you prefer laziness to inspiration, this is your choice, and no one can judge you.
I believe that you would prefer to feel inspired. A great part of inspiration is gained by rest. It is okay to rest, and “do nothing” because many times that will free your mind to receive a sudden idea that transforms “nothing” into everything you came into this life to live.
Place your orders based only on what you love, and then your life will be lived, one moment at a time, experiencing what your heart has been searching for, and what you head has been trying to figure out; your essence – love, creativity and expression of that creativity, while you deeply enjoy every moment of it as long as your soul eternally exists.
© Copyright 2006, 2011 by Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved.
Inspiring Insight to Transform Yourself, Your Relationship, and Your Life
By Barbara Rose PhD
“The beginning of personal growth is the idea of who, exactly, in fine detail, you wish to become.”
“Your highest and most exciting vision of self is paramount to your success, to finding the joy completely from within and not from any other person, place, or thing.”
“The moment you decide exactly where you are going, that is the precise moment your entire life changes course.”
“Passion with another cannot sustain a relationship. Passion exists in the moment, and this moment passes into a memory. In order to sustain a relationship, you must be passionately alive. As a result, you will continue to bring your passion to the one you love. You will not need it to come from another, because you will be sharing your abounding supply from within you.”
“Through the darkness of tragedy, you reach the dawn, which is the moment you decide it will never be this way again. This is the moment when you change the entire direction of the rest of your life because you refuse to go back to where you have just been.”
“Individual growth is a conscious choice. You must take what you have, and begin exactly where you are at this very moment to move solely in the direction of the life you want to have and the you you want to become.”
“Your personal power begins with the dawn of your realization of your personal worth.”
“We can dream and see ourselves where we will one day be, if only we decide it is to be so. The moment that decision is made, your entire life does an about face, a forward march, and you are flying toward your goals. Yet your goals are themselves the process during the journey, and not the end result. It is the love of the work that brings you pleasure,not the moment the workday is over.”
“If you truly want a better life, take your life into your own hands and create it for your very own self.”
“What others have does not matter. What matters is who you are. Once you decide who you are, you will become that person eventually. One moment at a time, your life will be renewed.”
“Remember that the only “lack” exists within the erroneous thoughts of the ego. There is zero lack in this universe – it is all consciousness, which produces energy which draws to you like a magnet exactly what you hold in your consciousness.”
“If you wish to better your life, then you must release all belief that by so doing you will be a better person. The key is in knowing that you are a supreme being just as you are and that “bettering your life” is just a means of self-expression. It is your divine expression to live according to your grandest preferences–not because it will make you better but because you are serving as a result of discovering and expressing the best you have within you.”
“You are here to experience yourself, not ‘fix’ yourself. You are not broken and you do not need to be fixed!”
“Whoever put you down during your life lied to you.
Your outer achievements or failures never constitute your REAL worth as a human being.
All you are comes from your heart.
All you will ever be you were already born to be.
It’s all inside of you, NOW.
Take a good look into your heart and when you find the goodness that’s already there you will know that all you need to do to feel better is to bring out all of that goodness already within you.”
“Here is how you will know if you are living your life purpose: just ask yourself one simple question: ‘Would you do what you are doing now for FREE for the rest of your life, if money was not an issue?’ When your answer is YES, then you are living the life you came into this life to live.”
“No matter what difficulty you are facing, it is coming from Divine Light to bring you to a higher place within. Write down every conceivable reason that this situation can contribute towards your growth. Write down every way this experience can possibly set the stage for serving to uplift others. When you are complete, and have come to the other side of this experience, you will then know “why” it happened.”
“Even the most daring and accomplished people have undergone tremendous difficulty. In fact, the more successful they became, the more they attributed their success to the lessons learned during their most difficult times. Adversity is our teacher. When we view adversity as a guide towards grater inner growth, we will then learn to accept the wisdom our soul came into this life to learn.”
All Content © Copyright 2003, 2011 By Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved. Quotes re-printed with permission from the book Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth and Your Life Published by The Rose Group (April 2003) ISBN-13: 978-0-9741457-0-9.
Essential Communication Guidelines with Teens that Work
By Barbara Rose, PhD
A Parent or a Boss
Parents whose teens are thriving typically relate to their teens, rather than boss them around. They put themselves in their teenagers’ shoes, and pick their battles when it comes to setting strict boundaries. They do not act like drill instructors; they do not order their teens around. They relate from their hearts, and their teens feel it.
As a result of receiving respectful communication from their parents, teens respond positively.
The following guidelines for verbal and nonverbal communication with your teens will be immediately helpful if taken in and applied.
1. Never put your teen down in an insulting manner.
2. Always speak to your teen with the same respect you would show adults you have great respect for.
3. Carefully explain the reasoning behind whatever you request of your teen, such as curfews or sexual safety. Explain yourself exactly as you would to your own best friend.
4. Honor your teen’s boundaries and privacy in an age-appropriate manner by asking questions with sincerity rather than in a threatening or demeaning tone.
5. If either your or your teen’s temper flares up, state that you both need an hour or two to cool off and calm down so you can resolve the matter at hand in the best possible way; this will prevent communication from flying out of control and escalating into a volcanic eruption.
6. Never hit or physically touch your teenager in any inappropriate or hurtful manner. This is called abuse, and you can be put in jail for such treatment.
7. If you feel concerned or upset, phrase your concern by sharing your feelings instead of giving your teen the third degree as if he or she were on a witness stand.
8. Allow your teen to express him – or herself openly and honestly while you listen with full attention.
9. Reflect back what your teen has expressed to you just to be certain that you understand where he or she is coming from. This creates understanding and prevents unnecessary fights.
10. Always and under all circumstances honor who your teen is on the inside, even if he or she is different from what you prefer or what you were taught about gender roles.
For example, if your teen is a male and he wants to be a ballet dancer, honor him for it. This shows him that you love and accept him for who he is, which is crucial. Alternatively, if your teen is a female and she wants to work as an automotive engineer or any role that you may have been taught “should” be a male role, honor her choice just as you would if she told you she was interested in a career that you may view as more appropriate for females.
In the next chapter, I explain how crucial acceptance of your teen is; if there has been a downward spiral in attitude or behavior or both, it can be turned around.
© Copyright 2007, 2011 by Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved. Exclusive Book Excerpt republished with permission from the book Dear God, I Have Teenagers. Please Help! Published by The Rose Group (April 17, 2007) ISBN-13: 978-0974145778.