What to Say to a Teen Who Has an Abusive Boyfriend

Dear God I Have Teenagers Please Help!

What to Say When a Teenager (or Adult) Has an Abusive Boyfriend
By Barbara Rose, PhD

When I was eighteen years old I had an abusive boyfriend, and I was miserable. My mom would sit and tell me how poorly I was allowing myself to be treated. Back then, I remember hearing her words and knowing deep in my heart that she was 100 percent correct with respect to everything she was telling me. I felt humiliated, and I felt low self-worth. I felt embarrassed to admit that she was right. I wanted to look good. I didn’t want to look like a failure, and I certainly did not want to admit to her that she was right. Although everything she said hit home, and I knew it, what I really wanted was support, understanding, and someone to guide me in a loving manner so I could break up with that abusive boyfriend.

I needed a real friend, not a daily lecture.

Of course my mom was pointing out the obvious, and she was doing so in the best manner she knew how. All parents do the best they know how. Now, this book is in your hands to help bring you another perspective so you can glean some beneficial insight to help you with your teen. The only one who can help you with how you relate to your teen is you, backed by your decision to learn whatever you can to help you get to a better place, so you can lovingly guide your teen to the best possible place on all levels of his or her life.

If you see your teen dating someone you feel and know is not in his or her best interest, here’s an approach you can try that may work wonders. Try letting your teen know that you truly believe in him or her and that his or her current choice may simply be a mistake, which he or she didn’t see at the beginning of the relationship.

Isn’t this true for all of us who have ended relationships? We usually did not see that the relationship would not be in our best interest when it began. Everybody goes through this. It is so important for you to let your teenager know that everyone who was ever in a relationship that turned out to be painful really did not see that in the beginning, and this does not make your teen a failure.

Try this approach as well. Try saying the following: “I believe in you and I know you are very smart. I know this is a difficult time and I know you will come out of this shining. Relationship mistakes are filled with great lessons to be learned. So even if you feel sad, please never feel like a failure because you never failed! It’s okay and even positive to walk away from a relationship that causes you to hurt. I did, and I know many other people who have. The most important thing for you to know and remember is that a relationship is never a reflection of how good you are deep inside. You were born good. You’re just learning through experience, the way everybody else learns, and in my life, the most painful times taught me so much. I know you are going to make the best choices that will cause you to feel happy again, and I am behind you all the way.”

Now, I believe that the above paragraph expresses sincerity, unconditional love, support, honesty, humility, and wisdom. I also believe that by relating positively to your teen and supporting him emotionally rather than preaching to him, you would most likely help him make a swift departure from a negative relationship in which he feels miserable.

Here is the alternative, and please be honest with yourself as to which dialogue you would rather hear from your parent if you were your teen.

Alternative Dialogue

“How can you let yourself be treated like dirt? Where is your backbone? You’re acting like a spineless wimp. He uses you, treats you like garbage, and you take it like a doormat. Why don’t you just break up with him? What’s wrong with you? Don’t you have a brain in your head? I can’t stand to see you let yourself be treated this way. You’re miserable. I’ve never seen anything like this before. Take a stand and show a backbone.”

You Choose

Which of those examples do you think will really reach your teen? Which one feels more supportive? Which one do you think your teen would respond to faster? Which one would you respond to faster and with more sincerity if it was about you?

I believe you would prefer the first paragraph. I believe you would prefer to be related to with loving support rather than being preached at. Let me ask you a question now, being you are a grown adult. Has your parent ever spoken to you in either of the ways expressed above? What do you honestly prefer, to be related to and supported or to be preached at?

If you’re anything like most human beings who have feelings, I believe you would vastly prefer to be spoken to in the most gentle yet loving and sincere manner. Truth must be spoken at all times. But the manner in which it is spoken makes all the difference in the world.

I want nothing more than for you to be able to thrive in your relationship with your teenager. I’m a mom, too, and nothing is more important to me than my own teenagers. What I did was speak and behave toward them in the exact opposite manner from which I was spoken to and treated when I was growing up. I know what it feels like to wish I had a parent who could really understand me, be my friend, and relate to me, while he or she showed me he or she truly believed in me.

I am positive that if you did not have that growing up, you most likely wished for the same thing. I would also venture to say that if your teen does not feel an incredible amount of unconditionally loving support coming from you, your relationship may be decaying, when deep in your heart you would prefer that it thrive. At least I hope this is what you would prefer.

Exclusive excerpt from the bestselling book Dear God, I Have Teenagers. Please Help! (ISBN: 0974145777 Rose Group, April 2007) © Copyright 2007, 2011 by Barbara Sherry Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved.


Answers from God About Why There is Upheaval in Your Life

Through Barbara Rose, PhD

when God answers

This update comes through me from God, Source, Creator, Spirit, All That Is, by whatever name you personally give to bring clarity, understanding and resolution in your life.

Greetings, Hello, Shalom, Salam, Namaste’, Dear Souls,

Many of you are experiencing internal and external upheaval in your life. For those who are, this update is for you and anyone who needs this.

Just at the point when the fabric of your existence, your reality seems to be crumbling before your eyes, many have been feeling deep grief, sadness, a sense of personal failure, and nervousness as what was once in place in what you called your life, is shifting, and you may have felt inner panic.

Why does the structure of your life and your reality crumble? Many of you ask this question. The answer is simple. What you see as upheaval in front of your eyes is actually uprooting that which is keeping you from living the true life you are here to live.

The ways of old that felt so comfortable must be transformed in order for you to move forward in the manner in which your deepest heart and soul desires to.

This means that what you have been afraid to face, it is now directly in front of you, unable to be ignored, so you can finally transform your fears, overcome your false perceptions of self, and honor who you are, now.

For the growth that you came into this life to make to be experienced within, all that is hindering your deepest growth now must come up to the surface. Although this may feel unpleasant, I am offering you a different perspective now. It is actually a gift. Yes, the personality does not like to feel out of control. The ego desires to validate self from external circumstances.

Your soul, on the other hand, validates itself for being, and experiencing alone. There is not a chance of your failing in this lifetime. How can you fail at growth? Your circumstances may be going through a remodeling so to speak, even if it is one that you are resisting with all of your ego’s might.

The fight and resistance is what is causing the emotional pain. If you knew to remind yourself that in order for the remodeling of your life to take place, the life you truly desire in your deepest heart, then the old structures will have to be removed.

I shall give you an analogy of a kitchen. If you have broken appliances, leaks, rotted wood, and shredding electrical wiring, is this what you truly desire? No, of course it is not. So in order for you to have the “kitchen of your dreams” the old must be removed so your appliances can be replaced. Leaks can be fully repaired. Rotted wood is pulled out and beautiful new cabinets take their place. The shredded electrical wiring is literally pulled out completely, and your kitchen is given brand new, safe wiring that will last beyond your natural life.

Dear Soul, what you may have been focusing on is how the parts of your life are being ripped out, thus panicking, or feeling deeply saddened. What you have not looked at is all that the old is being replaced with.

This is what I want you to see.

If you feel like a failure, for any reason, please shift your perception to one of being a learner. You are learning, not failing.

When you are saying, “No, No” as the old ways are no more, I ask you to say, “Yes, Yes” to the new realizations, self love, higher purpose, your deepest truth and all you have been wanting to experience as your purest essence of Self for eons, this time is finally here. It is one to celebrate.

Behind every great transformation in life, there was change from the old. Transformation is the opposite of stagnation. Either you desire brand new cabinets, or out of fear, you ask to hold on to rotted wooden ones. Your soul is drawing these experiences into your life because it is actually paving the way for you to grow, as you go with the flow, into your pure, authentic self.

As the dust settles, after you have fought, cried, pleaded, bargained, and resisted, in a short while you will be able to look back and say, “Yes, I needed the old ways to be removed so I could move into the place I am now, both inside and outside in my moment by moment life.”

Focus on what you would love to experience when you feel afraid.

Ask yourself if the upheaval serves you well, although it feels temporarily uncomfortable.

Dare to shine a light onto the path you have always yearned to travel from the inside out, and as you see the light shining on glimmering gems that are new opportunities, experiences, friendships, and inner freedom from emotional suffering and tyranny, you will be glad for the temporary upheaval. You will know that it was the only way all you truly desire could replace what you knew deep inside needed to be transformed.

You will very soon feel inner peace if you have been feeling internal chaos. Remind yourself that when the old falls away, including how you are viewing yourself, if your ego feels temporarily bruised, know that this is creating room for greater growth that far exceeds where you are now. Move in the direction that your heart is pulling you towards. You path ahead is a glorious, sublime, exciting and blissful experience, because it is actually the real you that you are now growing into.

You are loved eternally. Be Well and Trust. All is in Divine order.

© Copyright 2007 by Barbara Rose, Ph.D. Re-Print Rights for Websites and Print Publications. This information may be freely disseminated, in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for the information and this notice is attached. When using a partial version of this material, please state that it is an abridged version and refer the reader to the original, complete version at BornToInspire.com Publications are encouraged to reprint this article, permission is not needed, but please notify us via our contact page when you have re-published this message. Thank You for helping to uplift the Spiritual Consciousness of Humanity.

Why this Time Period in Your Life is the Catalyst for a Greater Mission

Why this Time Period in Your Life is the Catalyst for a Greater Mission
Through Barbara Rose, PhD

My children whose love I have for you, you shall never be able to contemplate or measure, as it is as eternal as time, it never ends.

I bring through a message for you, an update for you to understand why this time period in your life is the catalyst for a greater mission. It is the mission you are here to live and experience, and the deep love you have in your heart will draw you into it, not out of will, but out of pure love.

The matters at hand are multiple. A look at your news shows you chaos amid love. There is only one energy that will survive, no matter how dark and gloomy circumstances appear to be in front of your eyes, and that is love.

What do you desire in your life? How would you like to see it all unfold? Would you believe me if I told you that there is far greater a mission for you than you can even fathom right now? I shall share this with you, it IS greater than you can fathom.

What is the urgency? You ask. How many people are dying of starvation? How many illnesses are amid your brothers and sisters? How many human beings are suffering, right now, this moment, crying, trying to find their way home? Millions upon millions among the billions who inhabit earth right now.

The carefree days when you live with concern for yourself alone must now transform. It is to be transformed into concern to all. I sent you a message before in the book If God Was Like Man and I shall send it again right now.

Imagine if you needed something, and for whatever reason could not get it, perhaps due to funds, and you asked someone to help you, and the answer would always be YES without question – can you imagine how life on earth would be knowing that you would never be denied anything you needed?

I am asking you to open your hearts, and say YES to anyone who asks you for anything that they truly need. If you are able to give it without it hurting you on any level, I ask that you do. I ask that you imagine for one moment that if YOU needed something, if you truly needed it and someone were to say NO, how would you feel? You would feel that I have forsaken you. But alas, how your views and feelings shift when you ask someone to help you with something you truly need, and the answer is YES, Ah, yes, then you feel love in your heart. It is the love I feel for you that is expressed through another person to you, just as Divine expression of love is expressed through your heart for anyone who is in need.

The matter of urgency is turning your backs. How would you feel if others turned their backs on you? Yes, people have, and it hurts. It feels sad, lonely, and you begin to wonder what you are doing here in this life, and why you are here to begin with.

You are here to express and experience your Divine self. To align your will with Divine will. How will you know what that is? It is the feeling of love that you have in your heart when you know you have done something motivated by pure love and care for yourself, or another.

This does NOT mean to love another at the expense of your self esteem or your survival. This means to live purely from your heart so you can see the results of being a living expression of Divine will in your life, and how it touches and ripples into the hearts of others. Alas, it changes life on earth.

I have asked Barbara Rose to hold one weekly free event. The purpose of this event is to guide you in understanding and knowing HOW you are receiving Divine guidance at ALL times. She will send you a notice for the second event. You have already received notice of the first.

Why is this so important? My children, once you know and are fully aware of your Divine connection, and the guidance that is being given to you, then you will never again feel all alone, for you are never alone, and you have heard this saying for eons. Now, it is time for you to experience it in your everyday life.

The time has come for you to receive the guidance you need at will, whenever you need it, so you hear it within your mind and heart. This is a simple process. It is a pure process. And, it is a free process.

As you experience it in your own life, as many of you already do, all I ask of you is that you share it with others who are open to this. Share it in your own words, in your own way, and know that you can never “mess up” when you desire pure divine communication. We just have to get you to be consciously awakened to the fact that you are actually receiving it every moment. Once you are aware of this, your life will transform at lightning speed.

Yes, this free service is being given to you to utilize whenever you feel you need inner guidance. You will know you are receiving it when your life begins to transform from darkness and chaos into purity, light and love. You will be experiencing your God-Self, as you already are. Now it is time for you to experience this on a daily, hourly, moment by moment basis. It is time. You are ready. The answers you seek are waiting for you. Please join the free calls that are made available to you through Barbara.

There are important rippling effects in this grand connection, and it is no accident that you are reading these words at this moment. For it is in this moment that you have needed to know how loved you really are; how guided you are, and now, you can listen within and hear the divine guidance given to you now and forevermore.

Be well.

© Copyright 2007, 2011 Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved.

Received and Transcribed Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Re-Print Rights for Websites and Print Publications. This information may be freely disseminated, in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for the information and this notice is attached. When using a partial version of this material, please state that it is an abridged version and refer the reader to the original, complete version at http://www.borntoinspire.com Publications are encouraged to reprint this article, permission is not needed, but please notify us via our contact page when you have re-published this message. Thank You for helping to uplift the Spiritual Consciousness of Humanity.

Awaken Your Higher Consciousness 4 Session Deep Intensive Recorded Live


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    • Once you utilize this pure process that is your birthright with zero special ability required you will come to know true inner peace any time you need it.
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If God Hears Me, I Want an Answer! Exclusive Excerpt


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I didn’t understand why the events in my life were happening. I didn’t know what to do or how to figure everything out, and I wanted answers! I received tens of thousands of pages of answers. The only problem was my ego. I did not believe the answers were really coming from God. I kept thinking I was making it all up. Continue reading

Answers from God about Being Afraid of Getting it Wrong

Answers from God About Being Afraid of Getting it Wrong
By Barbara Rose, PhD

The inspiration for this article came from a dear soul who was so afraid of “getting it wrong” in the process of doing a writing to God/Holy Spirit/Source for any matter that weighs on her heart, that I just had to find a way to help her, and you. This is a common fear because this process is completely out of our comfort zone. It is unfamiliar. We were not raised being taught our birthright of using all six senses, but to operate from just five. Fears of somehow not being able to receive divine answers are common simply due to the personality not yet having several experiences with this pure and free process. However, just as with any new endeavor, once you do it, the fears evaporate.

If you, too, feel fear in this area, take heart. There are other ways which I’ll share with you now to receive divine guidance at any time, all of which is addressed in the book If God Hears Me, I Want an Answer!

Let’s suppose that for whatever reason you cannot hand write or type. Here is something I urge anyone to do for as long as you live if you want your life to soar purely in all areas.

The ‘still small voice’ that guides you from within, the one that may say something like, “Take this road home today instead of the one you usually take” that”inner voice’ is God/Source/Holy Spirit, or whatever name you personally use when referencing the purest divine guidance.

Did you ever, once, receive inner guidance and *not* follow it? Me, too. And did you regret it? So did I. Alternatively, did you ever once receive inner guidance and actually follow it? Me, too. Were you glad you did? So was I along with every single person I have ever spoken with from all walks of life, countries and cultures.

The foundation of Higher Self Communication and receiving divine guidance is listening within to the ‘still small voice.’ For many people, their heads are so busy with endless mind chatter, worries and thoughts of ‘what if’ that it is akin to being in a car and blasting the radio at the highest volume. Then, imagine that a gentle rain begins to fall, and the little raindrops are gently falling on the windshield. Do you think you can hear the raindrops if the music is talking at high volume?

No, you would not be able to hear the sound of the raindrops. But, if you lowered the radio volume because you wanted to hear that soft, peaceful sound, you would hear it! And it would bring a smile to your face.

From this moment forward for eternity, I am guiding you to carefully listen within to the guidance that flows into your mind. That is God guiding you, me and everyone who has ever lived on earth.

There is an example that is strong and needed to drive this point home so you always follow through – which is what you will be glad you did.

Suppose you have a best friend whose birthday is on Friday, and you promised her you would go over her house to celebrate her birthday. Imagine this: Ten minutes before you’re about to leave your house, you are receiving gentle, simple guidance that you hear within your mind. The guidance is saying, “stay home. Don’t go.”

Now, most people would say something along the lines of, “Where is THIS coming from? I can’t stay home. This is my best friend, and it’s her birthday. It’s not even raining out. I’m going to her house to celebrate her birthday.” And again, the guidance gently flows into your mind saying, “Stay home. Don’t go.”

Now at this point, you have tossed the idea of following the still small voice of divine guidance. You have decided with your free will and choice to disregard that guidance in favor of going to your friend’s birthday gathering at her home, and you leave your home to get into your car.

You’ve been driving for about seven minutes when a truck slams into your car. It’s a terrible accident. You can’t feel your legs. You are rushed to the hospital, and spend the next two years of your life learning how to walk again.

During one of your sessions with the physical therapist, you share, “On the night of the accident, something inside was telling me ‘don’t go, stay home’ and I didn’t listen.”

Many of us learn the hard way when we disregard the inner, pure, perfect and all-knowing guidance from God/Source/Holy Spirit – or whatever name you feel most comfortable calling it. And each time we learn the hard way, we dearly regret it.

Now, I am guiding you simply coming from a place of care for humanity, to ALWAYS follow that still small voice. In most cases it will NOT make sense to the ego, most of the time the guidance does not appear to be logical. This is because we can only see so far with our eye sight. But the divine can see everything, and when we are guided, it is OUR choice whether or not we listen, or ignore the guidance and do as we please with our free will and choice.

At some point, which I pray is right now, you learn to follow that inner guidance because it will ALWAYS guide you in the best direction. It will ALWAYS keep you out of harms way. It is God guiding you.

The great news is that once you are in the habit of following that ‘still small voice’ it becomes THE guiding voice of your life, and then after a short time you take stock of your life and notice how much better life has become since you’ve been following the inner guidance you receive.

If you only do this, you will only feel gratitude, and I do assure you, you will never, ever regret following through with the guidance you receive. It simply and gently flows into your mind when you are awake.

It is this guidance that is our saving grace. In one moment we receive clarity, a new perspective, or an answer when we were trying to figure something out.

There is not a single person on earth who cannot benefit from receiving answers from God when they can’t figure out the answers on their own. Many times answers will come during sleep in our dreams when the voice of the ego is subdued and Spirit can get a word in edgewise. During our waking moments, listening to and following through with the gentle guidance will always be something we are so thankful we did.

Do this, even just as an experiment for the next four weeks. See and EXPERIENCE the results. Then, judge for yourself. I know for the next four weeks your life is going to be so much nicer as a result. After four weeks, you will certainly be glad you followed the voice of God who guides you now and forevermore.

Copyright 2010 Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved.

If God Hears Me, I Want an Answer! Details

GOD-HEARS-ME=BOOKCOVER If God Hears Me, I Want an Answer!  By Barbara Rose, PhD

Editorial Reviews

“Barbara Rose is one of the best spiritual teachers I’ve ever heard in person or read in books.” — Gary Renard, best-selling author of The Disappearance of the Universe

“I was deeply moved when I read Barbara Rose’s beautiful and compassionate book. Her love and wisdom infuse every page.” — Stephen Simon, Film Director/Producer (Conversations with God, Somewhere in Time, What Dreams May Come) Co-founder Spiritualcinemacircle.com

“This book is a must read for deepening your spiritual awareness regardless of where you are in your journey.” — Bob Gottfried, PhD, author of Shortcut to Spirituality: Mastering the Art of Inner Peace

Barbara Rose has tapped into profound truth, a direct expression of God with simplicity and eloquence. I recommend her book. — Barbara Marx Hubbard, President, Foundation for Conscious Evolution

Book Description:

This book solves the mystery of how to receive answers when you really want them. You learn not only that you are heard but that you are answered, and you will be able to receive all of the answers you need in order to propel your life forward in the most positive way.

After bringing through tens of thousands of pages and millions of answers to people worldwide, Barbara Rose, PhD, shares in this book exactly how she receives the answers and teaches you how to do the same.

During the period in her own life when she lost everything, she wanted answers. From the depths of despair and facing many critical life-changing decisions, she turned to God and received perfect clarity and the highest guidance that led to both her highest good and the highest good of many others.

If you wonder if God hears you, and if you have ever wondered how to receive direct answers, this book will show you how—in plain English.

Publisher: Rose Group (August 1, 2006)

ISBN-10: 0974145750

ISBN-13: 978-097414575


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