Letters from Barbara

rosebud
Personal, from the heart, sharing with humility because no one can relate to a proud front. This is a personal place and I welcome you to share from your heart. I know I am blessed to have you in my life.

17 thoughts on “Letters from Barbara

  1. Wow, I’m just seeing this page for the first time in three years and I have to say that becoming homeless and living in my car was one of the most important lessons I needed to learn about non-attachment and that “saving money is saving myself” (quoted from God’s guidance to me.)

    What blows me away is all of the loving support that all of you have shared. You are all such precious souls and the meaning of what you share is eternal, which is why I made this page “public” when it was set to “private”.

    Keep showing your love as beautifully as you do and remember that we are all connected in this life for extremely important reasons. Uplifting the spiritual consciousness of humanity is vital. Let this page serve as an inspiration for anyone who is down – that they, and you, can rise above any circumstance as well as learn so much from it all.

    Sending you all my love and gratitude,
    Barbara

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  2. I sent you an email after your initial cry for help. I hope you are finding the care you need! Many hugs….remember, in the event of an emergency, you must first apply your own oxygen mask before assisting someone else. 🙂 Please follow up and let us know how you are health wise.

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    • Hi Precious Toni,

      I have followed up several times in posts and my newsletter sharing that I’m all better, healthy, happy strong, and soooo glad to be working again!
      I love that analogy you shared. I hope many others read it! I’ll be in personal contact over the next few days. Important business stuff.

      {{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}} right to you,
      Barbara

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  3. We don’t need to always be strong or independant. God wants us to be quite the opposite! Surrendering to Him also means surrendering to others. When I am down, I have a friend who I can confess to and she prays over me, and this always brings renewal. Its never good to isolate ourselves because of shame. Isolation just leads to negative thinking! We need to look to others to bring words of encouragement from God.

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  4. Hi Barbara.
    I subscribed to your newsletters a couple of years ago…finding inspiration in your words and admiring your beautiful website and all that you were sharing. I did not have a chance to read any of your books…..always thinking “someday”. I’m not up-to-date yet on ‘blogging’ etc. I’ve been immersed in my own business, blessed to be doing what I love, but at the same time working 24/7 trying to just pay the bills, doing it all myself. On the surface, things look amazingly successful and I work hard at not letting my insecurities and fears show. It’s such a challenge to ‘practice what you preach’! You are going through a tremendous transformation right now……….and in facing the truth, it does set you free! If you can stay in the ‘surrender’ place of complete trust & KNOWING that you are loved and supported even, though you can’t immediately see it, your journey will be easier. Relax and go with the flow….the ego will fight it, but listen to your heart! You are already sharing your life experiences, trying to help others……that’s what we ultimately came here for. We all are learning from each other and we don’t know how much our stories are affecting others, giving hope, inspiration, teaching lessons. We are all One……thank you for opening up. Take care….the best is yet to come!

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  5. Dearest Patti, Brenda, Uta, Gail, Suz, Lisa, Allyn, Kate and ALL,

    I feel the deepest appreciation for all of your words.
    Baring all was not an easy thing to do, but I had to
    so I could know I’m living in truth instead of shame.

    The ironic part of it all is that yesterday the hotel
    desk called that they needed payment. I felt panic,
    scared of being out in the cold weather. And then, God’s
    guidance came into my mind to check a savings account I had
    forgotten about.

    And there was all of the money I needed to easily pay for
    the hotel, with God’s guidance that, “This is a true emergency.
    This is when you would touch your savings.”

    After sending out the post, at first I felt great relief
    that I could stand next to anyone as an equal human being.
    But then old, rather ancient, fears came up to the surface
    remembering learning that “no one wants to be around a
    ‘loser’ only a winner” and fearing I ruined my professional
    “reputation”.

    It was like an internal battle was going on, fear vs. truth.
    I thought, “Oh I can just hear them now saying, “And she says
    GOD speaks to her, then why did GOD let her become homeless.”

    That’s the easiest part of it all. GOD did not do this to me,
    I did this to me!
    I take 100% personal responsibility for my mistakes, after GOD
    has been guiding me for the past FOUR YEARS to “save money and STOP
    ALL NON-ESSENTIAL SPENDING” my weak ego needed to be blasted apart.
    God has been guiding me every day, but I have a very thick head, and
    for some reason, most of my greatest lessons I had to learn the hard way.

    But NOW, you wouldn’t see me buy a ‘non-essential’ item until after
    I own a home with ZERO MORTGAGE, and have (as God guided me) enough money
    to cover me for TEN YEARS towards the end of my life in case I need a
    private nurse, like my Precious and Incredible Grandma Rose did from Alzheimer’s.
    The final years of her life were lived with dignity, and peace. She had only
    the finest of private care in her own home that she owned fully.

    God’s words as they flowed into my mind last night were, “Everyone goes
    to the other side. I just want to make sure you are covered towards the
    end of this life.”

    Now, I feel a different kind of fear – to fully see my mission as complete
    while in this life. I just turned 49. My beautiful Mom passed at 70. Grandma
    passed at 83.
    Knowing how time flies faster as we grow older, all of a sudden I realize
    I only have about 20 to 25 years left! Maybe 30?
    I have no fears at all about “death” because I KNOW there is only eternal life.

    It means so much to me to make sure all of humanity, every culture on earth,
    learns or has access to learn how to awaken their sixth sense, and live
    with full knowledge that receiving answers from God is no different than
    watching a sunset – it is simply utilizing our sixth sense – the STRONGEST
    one of all.

    The most vital part of receiving answers and guidance is FOLLOWING THROUGH
    with what we are guided to do.
    And this is what I did NOT do – but NOW I’ve “become the lesson” so to speak.
    It’s fully integrated, and now financial prosperity can flow in from a brilliant
    universe that with Infinite Intelligence, ALL THAT IS, is smart enough to only
    allow funds to pour in once I truly integrated my understanding of the importance
    of saving, and never again allow money to come into one hand and go out with the other two seconds later.

    So much of humanity is enslaved in ego. And judgment is the “Crown of the ego”.
    So the more we grow, the finer and finer layers must be shed if we are to graduate so to speak to live in a realm that is only pure love and peace.

    That is where humanity is headed – if only everyone could know how much each person is loved.

    I feel the deepest appreciation for all of your care, for reaching out, sort of holding my hand letting me know it’s alright, I’m not tarnished after all. But I’m all human, obviously.

    The most ironic part of it all are comments I’ve read by people saying, “She’s so rich, she should be FREELY GIVING everything away.”
    So to that I say THANK YOU – the more I have will enable me to give so much more.

    All my love to you,
    Barbara

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  6. A while back, I read a book whose title I think was “5 minutes in Heaven” – about a minister who was in a horrifying car accident. What a mind-blowing book this is.

    Following the accident, he accepted an offer by doctors to try an experimental device that would allow him to keep his leg — some metal device with pins and wires and spikes running through his muscles and bones that had to be adjusted on a regular basis.

    He was stuck in this thing for a year and it was excruciatingly painful. Boy did he go through a “dark night of the soul,” and one of the roughest parts for him, besides the pain, was finding himself — someone who ministered to others — now dependent on those others and having to learn to graciously accept the help people offered — out of love for him, even if it wasn’t something he actually wanted.

    He had to allow people to express their love for him in their particular ways. Talk about learning humility!

    He says he also put his wife through hell, but she stuck with him, and that also was a humbling experience.

    This man’s faith went through a trial by fire (or pins, rods and wires). And now, he walks on two legs, and counsels others going through the same therapy, and all his egotism was burned away.

    One of the most memorable parts of the book is when he recalls telling a story in church about how his good friend, who came upon the accident, held his hand the whole time and prayed with him until the emergency crews arrived. His friend later tells him that he not only did not hold his hand, he never could have reached his hand in the crumpled wreck of the car. And so the minister came to realize who really was holding his hand… can you guess? — Brenda

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  7. Dearest Barbara,
    I awoke with you in my mind this morning and now I know why. I agree with the others who state that there should not be any feelings of humiliation or other “negative” emotions here because those emotions require you to judge yourself. Besides, in this day and time, there are so many others without a home. If it wasn’t for the grace of my (then) ex-boyfriend taking me into his home in late 2009 and my elderly father paying me to help him with errands, etc, I would not have kept my car (my only possession and only form of transportation in my small town), car insurance or had gas money for job interviews. I did not feel very good about “taking” my father’s money at first (yes, I did hard work for him), but I learned to shift my attitude from one of “failure” to one of “Thank God my father is still alive and willing and able to assist me”. Our attitude and self-perceptions are so important at times like these. And, yes, this could very well be the “dark night of your soul”. I truly believe we learn so much in these moments including how NOT to feel like a victim. During my “dark night”, I think that I truly came to know how we create our lives on some level (whether conscious of it or not). And, ohhhh, have I done some interesting and, often, not so enjoyable creating in my past!

    I cannot begin to tell you how much your bold honesty means to me. With your post, you have reached out to all of us in a way that makes me feel worthy and trusted because another human being has shared who they are and where they are “at” in this moment of time. That takes true guts and courage!

    I’m sorry that you’re experiencing this TEMPORARY change. This, too, shall pass. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Blessings and light,
    Patti

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  8. Thank you for sharing your truth Barbara. You have always been such an inspiration and so talented at writing and caring for humanity with your work. We want to give back to you in return. Thank you for reaching out.

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  9. I just want to say that I was really inspired by Gail’s message and what she shared about her experiences. This is further reinforcement that God/the Universe/Source is so creative when answering our prayers, and how important SURRENDER is. Not to mention how HARD surrender is! I could probably go on and on about all the surprises that have come into my life when times got rough and I just threw up my hands and said, “God, I cannot deal with this, please help me!”

    I really, really liked this example re: humility that Gail shared: “When my daughter was a baby I had insurance and took her to the best pediatrician in town. When my son was born we had lost insurance and I took him to the clinic where he was treated by the SAME pediatrician for free.”

    I think that when we practice humility, then this frees up energy for God/the Universe/Source to come to the rescue.

    Sometimes my own faith needs a shot in the arm, and reading Gail’s message to Barbara did that for me today. Thank you!

    And it also occurs to me that I would love to write a book filled with examples of our everyday miracles. What do you think?

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  10. Dear Barbara, please love yourself no mattter what is going on. You offered to send me copies of your boooks online. I was able to come up with the money to buy the books I wanted, you were so generous. God is coming to you now to meet your needs! Much love to you, Lisa

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  11. Dearest Barbara
    It takes great courage to be so honest and this in itself is an inspiration. We often don’t speak – never mind live – our truth because we feel we need to keep up a certain image to be accepted by society and to be likeable. Most of all, we want that image to help us like ourselves. Your message made me realise how much I am still struggling with this! It’s so tedious and tiring feeding the ego, and it blurs what’s really important in life, like health and having a roof over your head!
    I’m sure this experience will become a catalyst for you to take your work to a new direction. I’m so sorry it requires you to suffer like this though!
    Just like you said in your letter that many people assume that you have lots of money, many might also believe that someone like you doesn’t need comforting words or a shoulder to lean on. Thank you for sharing your experience and reaching out. You’ve done so much for others, it’s time for you to accept whatever gifts come your way, whether it’s words, money, company, or friendship…you deserve it.
    Uta xxx

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  12. I agree with Brenda, dear Barbara. Please don’t sleep in your car.
    Your nurturing instinct is so very strong within you. It is a gift from God.
    Like in your present circumstance, What is God telling us now? I have sat and sqirmed and figited, while trying not to make my next move in life without that inspired message coming through. Yes I have felt like a fool for being in my particular spot. Yes I foolishly spent what I should not have. But the bigger picture was before me, if I would just allow God to show me. That is a tough one and the most difficult one I’ve ever faced in life. I believe that it is a lesson in learning to communicate with God. I believe that you are listening and while you are there, know that many of us are praying for your successful journey. Allyn

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  13. Dearest Barbara,
    Reading your book “If God Was Like Man” was life changing for me. What impacted me most was the message of non-judgment. I stopped going to Church where judgment is taught in that we are all “sinners”. A lot of my resentments and issues with people in my life have fallen away because I have learned from you not to judge and it has freed me in so many ways. So please do not feel humiliation for that requires judgment of yourself. We in this group don’t love you any less for the trials you are going through. I just read again a saying that I’ve seen many times “Others’ opinion of you is none of your business”. The ones who love you don’t judge you for being homeless and the rest don’t matter.
    I was tested many years ago when my youngest child was stricken with a brain tumor. I had to travel far frequently for his treatments and gas was expensive. On a Sunday night with little left from the paycheck and knowing I needed to put gas in the car for the week to get him to treatments I broke down and told God I couldn’t do it any more and He would have to take over. From that moment on I never worried about money again. The next day a check came in the mail from insurance reimbursement. Then the community started fund raisers and thousands of dollars poured in. I had not asked for any of it, but it enabled us to take my son to Texas for experimental treatments and to Medjugorje to seek divine healing. But when we were gifted with coach air tickets I did not disdain them and say I wanted first class. I was grateful for everything I received. When my daughter was a baby I had insurance and took her to the best pediatrician in town. When my son was born we had lost insurance and I took him to the clinic where he was treated by the SAME pediatrician for free. So please, go to the hospital or clinic and get the treatment you need to get back on your feet and healthy again. I know several women who have had similar symptoms with peri-menopause and all of them were successfully treated without major surgery. You may meet someone wonderful there!
    PS. I just lost my life savings in short-selling my house and am now living with my daughter. It’s wonderful, she does all the cooking and cleaning!

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  14. I was glad to see your latest posting today and that while life continues to be difficult, the way you are looking at events has changed. One practical note – I got a notice today regarding an unpaid hospital bill that told me if I meet financial guidelines, the hospital can waive the remaining balance completely or at the least waive 40 percent. I am pretty sure I meet the financial guidelines to have all of it waived. So, I am saying, get the care you need and ask God to help with the money part. Also, I have had to ask friends for a place to stay temporarily, as well as for food, and yes, it was really hard on my ego, but they came through and I got through my crises. Recently, after not being paid for 5 weeks, I had to go the food pantry where I had previously donated food and ask for help. I felt somewhat humiliated but then realized that this means I look down on the people I donate food to! How awful is that? And like you, I spend money on stuff I can live without – so you sharing your experience has helpful to me, as well. What good are all my books, CDs and knick-knacks if the heat gets shut off, right? Boy, it’s tough to be a grownup! So, I am still praying for you. I know in my heart you are going to find the strength and practical help you need. If it’s cold where you are – please do not sleep in your car. Take another knock to the ego and stay at a shelter, OK? In your condition, it is not being loving to yourself to sleep in a car. with love — Brenda

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  15. Dear Barbara,
    Your post is so alarming. I’m so sorry you are suffering so much; it is clear that you are being, as you say, brought into the dark night of the spirit. It seems right now for you to turn inward to God, and to focus on your physical survival, as I’m sure you are doing. I’m so glad you don’t feel the need to put up a front around what’s going on. Please don’t feel ashamed, as that would only add pain to pain. Please do post a link to how we can make a contribution to you.

    Sending love, prayer, light, and hope, and faith that your highest good is always being fed to you, no matter how dark it looks. ~ Kate

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