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Turning Tragedy into Self-Empowerment

the-world-better By Barbara Rose, PhD

How can tragedy be empowering? Because it brings you to the moment of truth, the real truth, the truth that ultimately sets you free. Through the darkness of tragedy, you reach the dawn, which is the moment you decide it will never be this way again.

This is the moment when you change the entire direction of the rest of your life because you refuse to go back to where you have just been.

The fact is that many people, most people, have to endure untold heartache and tragedy before they wake up, before they realize they have a choice. The direction of your life is in your hands alone. Blame for where you are in this life cannot be placed on any other. When we stop blaming and start creating the vision we want to see fulfilled, we then feel authentically empowered from within.

As I said earlier, I did have ample opportunity to take care of what I needed to, but I thought laziness and stagnation was so much easier. Obviously I thought wrong. Personal stagnation breeds self-hate. It feeds on negativity. It seeks injustice. It does not carry the exuberance, passion, and joy that accompany the search for new, better, and brighter paths and the striving toward fulfillment of your deepest dreams. Taking your life into your own hands and turning it around entirely, all of your own choosing, is an extraordinary adventure. Yes, it is scary. Change is always scary. But it is also thrilling. And after a while, you get used to the new, better way. And the old ways become as uncomfortable as shoes that are three sizes too small.

WHY So why do millions and millions of people suffer beneath the dictates of their own false views or the dictates of others who they wrongly perceive as holding their happiness or even their very survival in their hands? Why must you undergo any unpleasant circumstance that is not of your own choosing? Why, I ask you, are you holding on to something or someone, or some position in your career or in society that is not bringing you absolute joy? Who, besides your very own self, tells you that you don’t have a choice?

This is your biggest lie to yourself.
You do have a choice. 

I tell you this boldly, straight to your face: Each day that you hold on to this person or situation that does not bring you joy, you choose it as your reality. If you let go, if you walk away, if you no longer allow that person or situation into your life – then you are free! And you know what part of your life this pertains to. Did you ever have a job you hated? Did you ever just hang in there because you needed the money to pay the bills? Did anyone ever suggest that you simply get another job? Were you afraid to let go, in spite of your misery? You held on to your unhappiness because you bought into the belief that you had to. You believed you didn’t have a choice, right? Well, suppose you got fired from that job. What then? Would you die? No, you’d get another job. Perhaps a better one! Perhaps one in which you made enough to buy a new pair of shoes after you paid your bills.

Here’s the point:

If you are not happy, then your situation is not in your best interest. 

You can come up with every rationalization known to humankind, but the bottom line is that it starts with you.
Change can begin only when you decide it can. 

01-Ind-Power Excerpt from the book Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth, and Your Life Published by The Rose Group © Copyright 2003, 2011, 2020 by Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved.

 

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Your Value & Finding the Courage to Live Up to Your Worth

01-Ind-Power

Your Value & Finding the Courage to Live Up to Your Worth
By Barbara Rose, PhD

The illusion is that your life, worth, esteem, importance, or contribution to humanity is based on material things.
This is the illusion.

Most people placed a very high value on Mother Teresa.
They accurately assessed a very special human life. Yet how many material things did she own? She had very little, yet she helped to truly uplift humanity. She was a very special soul, doing much needed work. In fact, she was the epitome of an important person.
We all value virtue when we see it. Yet we lose sight of virtue in the face of a daily barrage of ads for material things that we are falsely led to believe will make us better people, more worthy, more highly respected – as if our intrinsic value were not enough to make us worthy and deserving of respect.

Your Choices

The most important thing you must know is that you hold the individual power to choose how you respond to the events in your life; it is solely your choice to move in one direction or another. With your choices, you create your own reality.

Now, there are agreements between souls who enter your life for certain growth lessons or experiences in which you agreed to participate; those meetings are predestined, but their outcomes are not. The outcomes depend on the choices you make.

So, if you find you are being disempowered due to meeting a certain person, then consider that the reason this person entered your life was so you could grow to honor your own self and push away from one who undermines your growth, if you choose to do this. Should you choose to remain with one who undermines your growth and causes you to feel less than the incredible being you are, you will find that your choice results in misery. You will end up sacrificing your life, playing victim to a chance meeting, a meeting that was predestined to help you come to terms with your highest growth issue.

Of the millions of people who are sacrificing their very lives by choosing to remain in abusive relationships, all in the name of love, I ask, who are you loving? Where are you keeping yourself, and what justifications are you using to avoid your own personal growth? Do not use love as an excuse here. To be a victim, to falsely empower an abuser, is anything but love. To realize a great part of your inner worth is to see your way beyond the challenges. You must set your sights above them and find the inner resources, by connecting to your higher self, or your deepest inner knowing to guide you in the direction of your choosing, for your highest good.

An event in your life is only a part of your life and not your whole life.
Do keep the grander picture in mind. Keep the perspective that any event or circumstance or person in your life does not constitute your entire life but a part of it.

This can be either most pleasurable or most painful. I would venture to say that any experience that brings you pain is there for you to grow and learn from. Moreover, any experience that brings you pleasure is given to you because you deserve to experience pleasure.

Do seek to grow and to learn so all of your life can be as joyful and as pleasurable as possible. Suffering is part of the tapestry until you realize the gift or the reason for the suffering. In most cases suffering stems from denial of what is in front of you and from your fear of embracing that which is trying to move you in the most positive direction.

So, as you suffer, you are forced to look at the source of your suffering. It is not the other. It is you. And it is your choice to either embrace the experiences before you or walk away from them. You will know which course of action will ultimately bring you the greatest happiness. When you are true to yourself, you always know what to do.

This is paramount in a consciousness, a life that seeks to evolve.
Your potential is unlimited as a human being. The only way you will be able to fulfill your potential and feel your genuine worth is by making choices based solely on your deepest truth, just one moment at a time.

Excerpt from the book Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth, and Your Life Published by The Rose Group © Copyright 2003, 2011, 2019 by Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved.

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When the River Of Your Life Takes a Sudden Turn

 

01-Ind-Power By Barbara Rose, PhD

Your life is like a river, with bends, twists, calm, turbulence, and all kinds of experiences
along the way. When your actions match your thoughts and
feelings, your truth, the ride down this river is an enriching experience.
Now imagine riding down the river with one leg in one
canoe labeled your genuine thoughts and feelings, and the
other leg in another canoe labeled your actions.When you
feel something in your heart and think something in your
mind, but your spoken words do not reflect that truth, the
two canoes separate, pulling your legs apart as you ride the
river of your life. This is a most painful way to travel, and
the simple truth is that it is unnecessary.
If you applied this concept to every area of your life, starting
today, your life would certainly make a dramatic turnaround
because you would genuinely be living your truth.
To do this, first acknowledge every aspect of your life in
which your actions or words are not congruent with your
genuine thoughts and feelings. Next, place all of those aspects
in an imaginary basket. Then, one by one, resolve
those aspects or get rid of them once and for all.
Suppose you are not truly happy with your job but you
continue to go to this place of employment day in and day
out. Put the job in the basket, find a better one more in line
with what you love to do, and toss out the old job.

You may be in a long-term relationship; perhaps the one
you love has been sitting on the fence, causing you a lot of
pain. You can never demand that others do something they
are not ready for, but you can make your own decision to either
continue living with the pain of settling for less than you
deserve or to walk to the other side of the fence alone.When
you do that, you clear the way for someone else to enter your
life…You see, it takes courage to live your truth, to be honest
with yourself and show it. It is far easier, and far more painful,
to feel one way and behave in another.
Why is this called spiritual consciousness? Because it provides
the impetus to get in touch with the deepest part of your
innermost being, the true core of you and you alone. When
you bring your essence, your truth, out from within and up to
the surface of your life, then you can see and feel the real you
in all your life experiences.
When you do this, you glow.You awaken your own vitality.
Your unique inner spirit comes forth and shines in every part
of your life.
Your consciousness, which is your mind, intelligence, intuition,
and wisdom, marries that inner essence, which is
your unique, individual expression. It is the flour and water
combined that makes the wonderful bread.
Self-truth causes us to face things we would rather avoid.
Yet, after enduring the pain of traveling down the river of life
with each leg in a different canoe simultaneously moving in
opposite directions, at some point we make the decision to bring the two together.

From this point forward we find
peace. Our inner life matches our outer life.We say how we
really feel.We speakwhat we honestly think.We dowhat we
know to be right, true, genuine, and good for us and others.
We stop avoiding the truth and find the guts to live it and
express it no matter how itmay temporarily bruise our own
ego or someone else’s.
This is taking individual power to the pinnacle of performance;
this will transform every obstacle life offers.
If you believe in your heart that you want something,
your actions will take you in the direction of your goal one
step at a time. Conversely, if you desire to achieve something,
and you do not do what it takes to reach that goal no
matter how difficult it may be, then your legs are back in
two separate canoes moving in two different directions
along the river of your life. This is no way to travel. It is
painful and gets you nowhere.
The current of a river changes moment to moment and
day to day. You cannot go backwards and duplicate yesterday’s
path. You cannot live with regret, wallowing at the
turn you didn’t take prior to this moment. You have to begin
where you are now and ride the river of the rest of your
life moment to moment, with your canoes aligned. Then
and only thenwill you ultimately getwhere you want to be.
So if life brought a storm, and the ride was miserable,
okay; now what are you going to do?
If you believe you can have a better life, you are right!
Match your belief with your actions, and your journey will
surely take you there.
If you believe this is it and there can be no change, no
benefit, growth, opportunity, or learning, then you do not
realize you are traveling on a river. You have managed to
convince yourself you are in your grave.

So you may find that being honest with yourself is difficult.
It is scary and painful. Yet the eternal saying still carries
all of the wisdomin theworld: “The truth shall set you free.”
No matter what you try to have, do, be, bring into your
life,make better, or release from your life, as long as your efforts
genuinely match your truth and your motive is purely
to live your truth, then ultimately youwill indeed have what
you need. As you live your truth, you will refuse to settle for
less than what you know, deep inside, is best for you.
If you do settle for less, then you are not living your
truth. You are, once again, riding your river with each leg in
a different canoe, where pain is the only possible result.
There is a saying I learned along my life journey: “You
cannot serve two masters.”You cannot serve love and fear at
the same time. You cannot serve truth and fallacy at the
same time.
So at each step, for each decision, you must make a
choice.
After giving in to fear or fallacy over and over again and
finally realizing the river of your life has taken you nowhere
you truly want to be, you learn, as I have learned, that self
denial, procrastination, and wimping out are not the truth.
Ultimately, you choose to be true to you. Your life then
becomes a physical expression of your ideal you, one day,
one experience, and one decision at a time. It is then and
only then that you are genuinely free.
You refuse to settle, give in, or give up at the expense of
you and your truth. Then you ride your river with joy, inner
peace, and clarity of thought. Then you achieve the results
you seek. Yes, this is the scariest part of life. It requires the
most courage…

I have spoken much about letting go of fears when seeking
to manifest something, and I have talked about embracing a
challenge no matter how tragic or painful it may appear to be.
How does one genuinely do this? With hindsight, I realized
that I always saw the gift as a result of an unpleasant circumstance.
I also looked back and realized how hard I fought
to hold on to what I did not want to change inmy life. Trying
to keep the status quo is not transforming an obstacle into an
opportunity. It is delaying or trying to stop the realization of
an opportunity, no matter how much we think we do not
want it.
Our egos will fight, but ultimately, our highest purpose
and the wisdom of our soul will win. That explains the cliché,
“Everything always works out in the end.” Sometimes it
works out after much fighting on our part.

Move into the area you fear most. Tell yourself: “No matter
how I may be fighting this now, the gifts of this experience
will emerge over time.No matter how much my fearful
personality fights this experience, I can see from past experience
that something happened for reasons I was unable to
see at the time. For the first time, I amgoing to trust, even if
it is for only a second at a time. I am going to allow this river
to take me where I probably wanted to wind up anyway but
did not know exactly how to get there. Life knows.”
We cannot know everything at every turn. That iswhy so
many of us hold on to our current realities so tightly. The
unknown is out of the ego’s domain. It is the domain of the
soul, filled with wisdom and gifts. The only domain of the
ego is the past. A prior point of reference, based on the experiences
we have already lived. We want to evolve, however,
not stagnate in our own history.
You will find that as you move willingly into the experience
staring you in the face, a lot of the pain and anxiety
lessens. You may even begin to see the gifts offered as a result
of the experience a lot faster, which of course will only
help you.
I love analogies. So here is mine. Back to the river:
You are on this wild river of your life. The river is your
life. You have a goal or a number of them. You have dreams,
hopes, wishes, and a life purpose. They all intertwine. You
think something is supposed to happen at a certain time or
in a certain way as you ride along. Then comes the bend in
the river. The current takes you inwhat you think is a different
direction. You grab onto a branch dangling from a tree,
and you hold on for dear life. You fight, cry, bargain with God, resist, avoid, and fight, fight, fight the current with every
ounce of fearful strength your personality has to offer.
What you or your personality or your ego can not see is
that this bend is taking you exactly where you truly wanted to
go. But you are so busy fighting it all and holding on that it is
only after you let go that you realize it. Maybe you let go two
years later. Maybe twenty. I hope you will let go at the onset of
this bend in the river and move with the current rather than
fight it. Then you will realize how necessary this bend is to get
you where you want to be.
I just experienced this in my own life. Letting go was the
hardest thing for me. I always wanted to feel in control. I
fought until I was left with no choice. And then, I was grateful.
Or I understood. Or I realized all of the reasons why.
We will always discover the reasons in hindsight, but with
this process, we can see them from the beginning, and that
truly transforms the obstacles our fears create for us.
Move into the experience you are fighting so hard to avoid.
The gifts are there!
I wish you every joy and beauty life offers, and I wish that
you discover where it truly resides: within you.

© Copyright 2001, 2003, 2011, 2019 by Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved. Excerpt from Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth and Your Life re-printed with permission, published by The Rose Group (April 17, 2003) ISBN: 097414570X.

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Your Individual Power to Turn Your Life Around Starting Now

Individual Power
By Barbara Rose, PhD

Your personal power begins with the dawn
of your realization of your personal worth.

Think of yourself as a baby, as you were when you were
nine months old. When you were small, your views of self
were not tainted by the false words and perceptions of others.
You were pure, whole, complete.

Then, you looked at everything, saw everything, and believed
in everything other than yourself.

You can’t believe in yourself when you don’t believe you
are worth spending your days passionately absorbed in joyful
work.

Survival, yes. We must all survive, but we are also entitled
to survive with personal dignity and with joy.

We can work and love our job. We can eat and love the
food. We can sleep and adore the person beside us. We can
dream and see ourselves where we will one day be, if only we
decide it is to be so.

It is the love of the work
that brings you pleasure,
not the moment the workday is over.

How, I ask you, do you suppose you can be an effective,
thriving individual if your esteem bank is empty? You can’t.
Your value feeds on itself, derives its pleasures and inspiration
From within, from your purpose, and from the joy you receive
by living that purpose.

A vast majority of the masses inhabiting Earth at this time
live like robots. They are on automatic pilot, numb to their
true joy.

Yet there are souls who thrive, who shine, who glow – rich
in self-esteem, wealthy in self-belief, prosperous in love, and
compassionately giving.

These are the people who inspire you.
Why aren’t you one of them? You will become one of them
the moment you decide to be the best you can be – because
you will have taken the step to honor your worth.

To sacrifice your core self for someone else’s benefit, to
throw away your life to satisfy another is the biggest crime.
When you do that, you steal from your very self.

And your age is not an excuse. If you believe the lie that it is
too late to start over, you will regret it later. No matter how old
you are, even if you are in your seventies or eighties, you are
not too old to begin taking personal responsibility and creating
positive change in your life.

Today is the day to begin, or tomorrow, to rise with the sun
and decide exactly who you are, who you wish to become, and
declare to yourself that you no longer choose to sacrifice your
being, and value for the benefit of another at the expense of
your very life.

When you do not take the initiative to be who you came
into this life to be, then each day you face misery. And, ultimately,
you will face illness because your system will be
toxic from self-hate and lack of joy. It will begin to shut
down because it will have nothing left to fight for.

Give yourself everything, every joy to fight for, and you
will find vitality and health, and you will glow once again
when you look in the mirror.

By choosing to pursue joy, you will accomplish far more
than you ever could by toiling away for endless hours in a
dead-end job, with personal decay as your weekly payment.

No other person is responsible for your life. When you
blame another, you do not validate your true self.

If you truly want a better life,
take your life into your own hands
and create it for your very own self.

What others have does not matter. What matters is who
you are. Once you decide who you are, you will become that
person eventually. One moment at a time, your life will be
renewed.

Take the initiative to dismantle every part of your life
that causes you misery. Leave behind each task, obligation,
job, person, or pattern you no longer want. Replace them
with the qualities and purpose you have always dreamed of.
Replace them, perhaps, with enjoying peaceful, quiet time
alone or spending more time with people you care about or
engaging in activities that bring you pleasure. Clean out the
clutter, doubt, and negativity in your mind, and eliminate
the false views so you can truly live again. You can do this
easily by seeking to find the gift in any seemingly negative
circumstance. Replace every complaint with a new creation.
Replace every quality you feel unhappy about with the
belief that you have within you the ability to be all you were
born to be.

Live. See. Do. Discover. Be you! Get to know who you really
are. This is your responsibility to yourself. All else follows.

For how can you be there for others when you disregard your
self? You can’t. You need yourself.

Without your self, how could you ever know the joy you
will experience as soon as you decide exactly where you are
going?

Begin now. You have a clean slate. The future is what you
cause it to be.

Create a brand-new you, and one day you will look back
and thank yourself for giving you the gift of you! You need
permission from only one person: yourself. It’s your time to
thrive. The next chapter will tell you exactly how to do it.

Individual Power Excerpt re-printed with permission from the book Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth and Your Life © Copyright 2001, 2003, 2013, 2019 by Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved. Published by The Rose Group (April, 2003) ISBN-10:09741457X.

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The Surprising Secret of Getting Love from Another

 

01-Ind-Power By Barbara Rose, PhD

As a self-loving person, you will recognize that you cannot, ever, make someone else love you, be good to you, be your friend, or be there for you. No matter how hard you try, and especially when you try, you cannot force love, friendship, or caring from another person.

Have you ever felt someone else wanted you to love him or her? No matter what that person did or how hard he or she tried, did it work? No. It did not.

As we all know, chemistry between two people cannot be created or destroyed. Physical chemistry is either there or it is not. But the physical relationship between two people is not the same as love.

What is this perplexing phenomenon that has plagued man and woman through the centuries? What is love? Where does it come from? It comes from being yourself. Loving yourself. Finding honor, respect, and joy in, of, and because of yourself. Love comes when you awaken your interests, passions, and joys; when you use your talents and abilities to achieve your goals; when you thrive in areas you have not yet dreamed of; when you dare to dream even more.

Love is to be your own best friend.

To need you. To depend on you,

to honor, respect, adore, obey, cherish, and love you.

That is the key!

The key is you, not the other.

If the other also loved him- or herself, there would be no insincerity, lying, manipulation, fear, jealousy, degradation, abuse, cheating, or fighting. There would be differences of opinion and differences in preference or perspective, but not war between the other and you.

There would be a sweet, magnetic chemistry. Then there would be friendship.

In this friendship between two people who love, respect, and understand themselves there would be honesty with each other. People would not hold back their real feelings because to do so would be to lie to themselves as well as to the other.

People would not stop a meaningful activity simply because someone called them for a date. The date would be set for another time. People would not be upset or jump to melodramatic, illogical conclusions just because they have not heard from a special someone for a few days. They would hope all is fine with the other person and would trust that they will be in touch when the time is right.

People would not feel they have to be with each other simply because the calendar says it’s Friday or Saturday. There would, however, be regard for each other’s feelings, and both would assume that if they would like to get together, then it would be more appropriate to make tentative plans than no plans at all.

In our society, it is no secret, no surprise at all, that when two people start to date, all kinds of expectations arise; all kinds of games are brought into play. No wonder there are so many people home alone at night. Who needs the games; who wants the insincerity? Nobody!

The key word here is “want.”

You have to want nothing.

You have to be everything, for you.

When you have grown and evolved enough to be your own dearest and best friend, and when you have grown and evolved enough to encourage another to do whatever he or she needs to do for happiness or fulfillment, that is when you can be sure the special person in your life will be the mirror image of you.

That person will play with you and challenge you to be your very best. That person will honor himself and understand his own perspective, feelings, beliefs, attitudes, principles, preferences, and desires. And that person will naturally love, honor, and understand you.

When you let go of all of the wanting, the longing, the desperation, the agonizing, and the fear, you find something wonderful and magical happens: you have it. You have love.

Stop trying; start being.

Stop doing everything to get that other person. Start being everything you want to be for you, and you will find that person will one day open his eyes and see that you are the one he’s been searching for all along.

This is what it means to let go, to move on. You don’t throw your love out the window; to the contrary, you throw out your focus on loving the other. And you fill that void with love of self.

When you see yourself

as the source of your own pleasure,

you do not need it

to come from another.

As this need vanishes, you become even more desirable than you would be if you were at another person’s beck and call.

For how can people desire that which they have, and how can they strive to attain the level of intimacy they deserve if it is given to them so freely, so easily, without having been earned?

When you work toward a mutual, beneficial relationship, you both bring and contribute your gift of self to the union. Whether it is for a day, a year, a decade, or a lifetime, each person contributes the very essence of himself or herself.

You each already know exactly where you stand, what behaviors you will accept, and which ones you will not put up with.

© Copyright 2001, 2003, 2016 by Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved. Excerpt from Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth and Your Life re-printed with permission, published by The Rose Group (April 17, 2003) ISBN-10: 097414570X.

Individual PowerIndividual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth and Your Life

If your life fell apart and you need to start over, this is the book that will successfully guide you into the life you truly want to live.

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How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Hurtful Relationships

By Barbara Rose, PhD

Now we are going to establish your inner truth and backbone-so you will actually feel a solid sense of self based on your truth.

ZERO Tolerance for AbuseFrom this moment on, whenever you notice any form of abusive behavior, I ask you to set a clear, definitive, and healthy boundary around yourself. Setting that boundary will allow you to move away from the source of abuse and to never allow abuse into your life again.

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Wisdom on the Other Side of Knowledge

wisdom_book

By Barbara Rose, PhD

There may have been times when you sought to understand an event or situation in your life as you were trying to figure it all out, to no avail.

Perhaps being intellectual, as you are, you tried to view the perplexing situation from any angle you could think of. And yet, there may have been times when you were still left in a quandary- still unsure, still asking questions about the matter at hand.

This area of the intellect can actually receive answers from the Higher Consciousness within your mind, which transcends your logical intellect with the limited perspective that left you still searching for answers.

The purpose of this excerpt is to teach you how to access your own Higher Consciousness so that you can receive answers to any situation your intellect is having trouble figuring out. This is a process that is your birthright; it is your Higher Self Communication.

What This Means

The term Higher Self Communication simply refers to that part of your mind that has the ability to consciously receive answers that are beyond your own current intellectual knowledge. The answers might pertain to your love life, research, or trying to understand how to relate to a loved one, such as your teenager or parent or spouse.

There is an explanation that I believe will hit home with you and make sense out of this process. It is this: “The mind cannot transform its limited perspective at the same level of consciousness that is viewing a situation while questions, uncertainty, and lack of clarity and understanding prevail.”

After all, if we were able to transform our conscious views of a situation at the same level of conscious awareness that we currently have, all internal emotional pain, lack of understanding regarding any situation, as well as a complete positive paradigm shift, would occur instantaneously.

Your Paradigm Shifts

I would like to share an example from my own life so that you can understand in down-to-earth terms what this is all about. Following my example, I will share with you exactly how to access your own higher consciousness so that you, too, can engage in life-transforming paradigm shifts within minutes.

A Personal Example

Many years ago, when my children were very young, I went through unwarranted child custody litigation. That situation did not turn out the way I would have preferred, and I viewed it from my own limited perspective-as if “I lost my children.” I was given visitation rights; however, my ego and intellect could only perceive what I used to call “a deep and tragic loss.”

I was experiencing the deepest emotional despair because of how I was viewing the situation. I did not consciously realize that there was an alternate perspective that would transform suicidal sorrow into complete understanding within a few minutes.

In my deepest heart I wanted to understand why I “lost my children” (as that was how I viewed the situation at the time). And after all, it is natural for us to want to understand why when a situation is something other than what we would prefer it to be.

I wrote down on a piece of paper the words, “Dear God, why did you let me lose my children?” I immediately received words in the form of an answer that flowed into my mind. I wrote those words down verbatim: “You did not “lose” your children. You are merely sharing the physical care of them with their father. They are alive; they will always be in your life, and you will always be close to them. Please shift your view from loss to sharing.

Instantaneous Transformation

When I re-read the words that I had written down, my paradigm-my view of the situation-shifted completely. My perception was instantaneously transformed. As a result, I honestly went from wanting to die to having a new lease on life. The simple answers that I received completely transformed my consciousness, which then was the catalyst for my having the desire to re-build and transform my life from the bottom up.

No Special Ability Required

As a regular human being with a deep love of the intellectual process, I was awestruck at how I could receive such a clear new perspective. I was excited. At the same time, in my eternal search for truth beneath the surface of things in life, I wanted to know how this was possible.

The Desire for Answers

Having received the answer that brought me a complete paradigm shift, I found I wanted more answers. I wanted to understand the dynamics of a deep and emotionally difficult relationship. I wanted to understand how a regular human being could receive answers about any situation that the personality and ego-intellect could not come up with on its own.

I began to write down questions I had that mattered deeply to me in my heart. I had a lot of questions, and I truly needed answers. Answers would bring me clarity, insight, and the kind of new perspective that would transform emotional grief and intellectual confusion into emotional peace and intellectual understanding.

© Copyright 2010 by Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved.

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Compelled to Share Tempted by Death Excerpt to Save Important Lives

Tempted By Death

Somehow I clicked on the file of my book Tempted by Death. The following is an exclusive brief excerpt that I felt strong inner guidance to share to save the lives of a few people who are thinking of taking their life. Please share this if you know anyone who may be contemplating suicide.

The Shocking Communication

As I touched on in the previous chapter the words; “You will not go to heaven” suddenly flowed into my mind. I knew this was pure Divine communication…

The Warning Verbatim

I want you to know the exact information I was given as to what would happen if I did break my promise and take my life, even by seeming “natural” means.

The words were crystal clear. “You will not go to heaven if you take your life.”

Well that certainly got my attention but paled in comparison from the words that were revealed to me that followed:

“Why don’t you give life a chance?! If you take your life when you go to the other side you will be filled with the most devastating agony and heartbreaking regret, more than anything you have ever experienced when you look back and see all of the good, all of the joy that that would have been if you only gave life a chance.”

The guidance continued as if a dear friend was trying to get me to understand from the heart with the following;

“Give life a chance. You will see how things change as life takes its natural course. Situations change, life works out, let it all unfold and you will see and be so grateful beyond description how everything really did turn around.
But once you take your life, then you are dead. Then there is no chance at all to make things better and for all to turn around because dead means over permanently for this life. There is not anything you can do in this life once you are dead. But as you give life a chance, you will see how everything works out! It always has in the past and it always will. Give life a chance!”

Immediate Reversal

That did it. Those simple words of pure truth, clarity and even common sense resulted in the immediate reversal of my previous decision (to die) and to follow this guidance to “give life a chance” because the thought of bearing even more emotional agony and regret at seeing what would have happened if I didn’t take my life was the major clincher that totally transformed my whole view of death—erroneously believing some myth that we will have pure peace. Not so with suicide!

Exclusive excerpt from the book Tempted By Death published by The Rose Group (November 11, 2011) ISBN-13: 978-0978895556 © Copyright 2011 by Barbara Sherry Rose, PhD. All Rights Reserved.

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Discovering Your Individual Value

Individual Power
By Barbara Rose, PhD

Your personal power begins with the dawn
of your realization of your personal worth.

Think of yourself as a baby, as you were when you were
nine months old. When you were small, your views of self
were not tainted by the false words and perceptions of others.
You were pure, whole, complete.

Then, you looked at everything, saw everything, and believed
in everything other than yourself.

You can’t believe in yourself when you don’t believe you
are worth spending your days passionately absorbed in joyful
work.

Survival, yes. We must all survive, but we are also entitled
to survive with personal dignity and with joy.

We can work and love our job. We can eat and love the
food. We can sleep and adore the person beside us. We can
dream and see ourselves where we will one day be, if only we
decide it is to be so.

It is the love of the work
that brings you pleasure,
not the moment the workday is over.

How, I ask you, do you suppose you can be an effective,
thriving individual if your esteem bank is empty? You can’t.
Your value feeds on itself, derives its pleasures and inspiration
From within, from your purpose, and from the joy you receive
by living that purpose.

A vast majority of the masses inhabiting Earth at this time
live like robots. They are on automatic pilot, numb to their
true joy.

Yet there are souls who thrive, who shine, who glow – rich
in self-esteem, wealthy in self-belief, prosperous in love, and
compassionately giving.

These are the people who inspire you.
Why aren’t you one of them? You will become one of them
the moment you decide to be the best you can be – because
you will have taken the step to honor your worth.

To sacrifice your core self for someone else’s benefit, to
throw away your life to satisfy another is the biggest crime.
When you do that, you steal from your very self.

And your age is not an excuse. If you believe the lie that it is
too late to start over, you will regret it later. No matter how old
you are, even if you are in your seventies or eighties, you are
not too old to begin taking personal responsibility and creating
positive change in your life.

Today is the day to begin, or tomorrow, to rise with the sun
and decide exactly who you are, who you wish to become, and
declare to yourself that you no longer choose to sacrifice your
being, and value for the benefit of another at the expense of
your very life.

When you do not take the initiative to be who you came
into this life to be, then each day you face misery. And, ultimately,
you will face illness because your system will be
toxic from self-hate and lack of joy. It will begin to shut
down because it will have nothing left to fight for.

Give yourself everything, every joy to fight for, and you
will find vitality and health, and you will glow once again
when you look in the mirror.

By choosing to pursue joy, you will accomplish far more
than you ever could by toiling away for endless hours in a
dead-end job, with personal decay as your weekly payment.

No other person is responsible for your life. When you
blame another, you do not validate your true self.

If you truly want a better life,
take your life into your own hands
and create it for your very own self.

What others have does not matter. What matters is who
you are. Once you decide who you are, you will become that
person eventually. One moment at a time, your life will be
renewed.

Take the initiative to dismantle every part of your life
that causes you misery. Leave behind each task, obligation,
job, person, or pattern you no longer want. Replace them
with the qualities and purpose you have always dreamed of.
Replace them, perhaps, with enjoying peaceful, quiet time
alone or spending more time with people you care about or
engaging in activities that bring you pleasure. Clean out the
clutter, doubt, and negativity in your mind, and eliminate
the false views so you can truly live again. You can do this
easily by seeking to find the gift in any seemingly negative
circumstance. Replace every complaint with a new creation.
Replace every quality you feel unhappy about with the
belief that you have within you the ability to be all you were
born to be.

Live. See. Do. Discover. Be you! Get to know who you really
are. This is your responsibility to yourself. All else follows.

For how can you be there for others when you disregard your
self? You can’t. You need yourself.

Without your self, how could you ever know the joy you
will experience as soon as you decide exactly where you are
going?

Begin now. You have a clean slate. The future is what you
cause it to be.

Create a brand-new you, and one day you will look back
and thank yourself for giving you the gift of you! You need
permission from only one person: yourself. It’s your time to
thrive. The next chapter will tell you exactly how to do it.

Individual Power Excerpt re-printed with permission from the book Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth and Your Life © Copyright 2001, 2003, 2013 by Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved. Published by The Rose Group (April, 2003) ISBN-10:09741457X.

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How to Turn Tragedy into Triumph

Soul Hues

By Barbara Rose, PhD

We have all undergone tragedy. Perhaps there is a reason why you chose a particular life lesson – a particular tragedy – to help yourself grow and become who you were meant to be. Perhaps you can look at the seeds of disaster from a new perspective and view them as the seeds for life renewal.

It is most often in our darkest moments that we meet our fate. If you seek within, you can find the reason for those dark moments.

What can you become as a result of your darkest hour?

Who can you help as a result of your personal tragedy? When will you begin to realize that you matter, you have value, and you are needed on this Earth. You would not be reading this book if this message was not meant to awaken your heart, to cause you to realize that you matter. Individual growth is a conscious choice. You must take what you have, and

Begin exactly where you are at this very moment to move solely in the direction of the life you want to have and the you you want to become.

The reason you desire this life and yearn to become all you dream you can be is that it is the real you, the you beneath the facade of the robotic life you have been living until now, beneath your false perceptions and your limited views of self.

Begin to see any shred of goodness in yourself and validate it. Begin to acknowledge any good you can possibly find in yourself that aligns with the ideal person you envision yourself to be. Consider this: Even a thief has a shred of goodness – he is quick. I do not condone stealing. I merely use this as an example to show you that every human being has traits that can be turned toward a positive purpose.

Here are the three steps you must follow to begin to take personal responsibility:

First, believe that when you picture something in your mind, you can achieve it. Believe that when you follow that “still small voice within” – your gut instinct, intuition, or sudden idea that feels exciting, despite society’s logical judgment – you will get exactly what you picture. The key element here is to feel thrilled about what you picture, as if there is a guarantee it is on its way to you.

Second, picture your life, your ideal life, the work that will fill your days with passion, and you will discover exactly what it is you love to do. Is there a person with whom you strongly identify? Someone who inspires a feeling inside you that speaks to your soul? If that feeling says, “This is what I wish I could do!” then you have an important clue to your life purpose.

Third, leave that horrible job, that degrading spouse, that miserable situation, and just start over again, for you! Move precisely in the direction of the ideal life you picture in your mind. The excitement of beginning the life journey you were born to travel will keep your courage strong whenever fear starts to set in. Each day, you will feel excited as you begin to create the changes needed to match the real you, from the inside out.

You will find that as you take personal responsibility for your life, everything you need is suddenly there for you. That phenomenon is behind the saying, “When something is right, everything just falls into place.” I assure you that fulfilling your highest vision and becoming the best you can be is right, no matter who tells you otherwise.

  • You are not here on this earth to be oppressed, nor are you here to oppress others.
  • You choose the debilitating patterns in your life. Instead, you can actively choose patterns that will elevate you above the negative spiral of personal decay.

tulips

If you are in a difficult situation you can rise above it, overcome it, and even transform it for others.

Oh YES YOU CAN!

Excerpt re-printed with permission from the book Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth and Your Life © Copyright 2001, 2003, 2013 by Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved. Published by The Rose Group (April, 2003) ISBN-10:09741457X.