What If I Just Decided to Stop Suffering?

By Barbara Rose, PhD

I’ve been suffering over deeply personal circumstances. Perhaps you’ve been suffering, too. When we are suffering it has a debilitating effect. We lose drive, ambition, hope, and just exist feeling lifeless.

When a circumstance means your whole heart and soul to you, and when that circumstance changes for whatever reason, and when we feel like dying as a result, this is the emotional suffering I am speaking about. Can you relate?

Today I had a realization. The thought occurred to me, what if I just decided to stop suffering? It brought on a very positive and freeing feeling. What has our suffering done for us? It puts us in a sinking void of negative quicksand. Pretty hard to get out of!


So here is what occurred to me. Seven steps that I shared on this website long ago – to apply it to stop suffering – so we can be free of the sinking depression, anxiety, and hopelessness that is a tragic place to be within.


  1. Decide. We have to first make the decision to stop suffering.
  2. Be Willing. We have to be willing to do whatever it takes to not only stop suffering, but to move forward in the most positive ways. I have found that reaching out for support with others who are going through or have gone through the same grief is a positive step. It let’s us know that we are not alone. Prayer for me has made a huge difference. Receiving answers from God in writing has uplifted me. And then the old sadness would return. But each time I asked for guidance, the higher perspective and inner strength to have a positive mindset, every time I received it and it began to last a little longer.
  3. Commit. We have to commit fully to the process. That means that when the deep sadness returns, we have to stop focusing on what is causing our suffering! We have to make a conscious effort to re-direct our focus onto what is life enhancing! We have to be diligent about it. Believe me, I know how hard it is to shift the mind’s focus on what we can create and sustain that momentum. It is difficult, but I have noticed that each time it gets a little easier, and it lasts a little longer.
  4. Let Go. We have to let go of what is out of our control, such as another person or circumstance that we truly have no control over. My inner nudge is to share that we can let go and put it in God’s hands to work it and us out for our highest good.
  5. Follow. We have to follow the higher, positive guidance we receive. We have to follow through on what will put us in a proactive, creative state. We have to follow through with re-directing our attention and focus on what will make life better even if we feel hopeless.
  6. Wait. If you feel like you’ve been hit by a Mac truck and your world is everything other than what you truly want it to be, it will take some time to go through emotional intensive care, to slowly adjust, and feel yourself making progress from within. I do feel that progress now, hence this article. The one thing you can’t do is just wait for what is outside of you to change before you can feel happy. NO, we have to make that shift from within and then we will feel a positive, growing momentum to create the best that we can in our life.
  7. ExperienceIt just may be in some cases that when you are on top of your feelings and focus, instead of drowning beneath them, that your circumstance can suddenly change to your liking. However, even if what caused your emotional meltdown can’t or won’t change, we have to grow and change ourselves from within. That is our only hope.

Just some closing thoughts: Stay away from drugs and alcohol. It only sinks you deeper.

Goodle a support group to match the situation you are facing.

Do a writing beginning with the words, “Dear God” or whatever name you personally use in prayer. You will be answered! I’m no different from you – as you can see, I have greatly suffered, too. But I had to find a way out of the suffering, and what came to mind is to start with a decision.

I hope this article has helped you. You are welcome to share it using the social media buttons below. You can even email it to a friend. Come back and re-read this article if you feel it helped you if the old sadness returns. It can keep you on track. Feel free to post any comments or questions below (not long stories) and I will do all I can to answer them here to help you.

© Copyright 2017 Barbara Rose, PhD. All Rights Reserved.

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