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50 Reasons to Stay in a Relationship: Excerpt from Stop Being the String Along

50 Reasons to Stay (You need all of them.)

Stop Being the String AlongBy Barbara Rose, PhD

50 Reasons to Stay (You need all of them.)

1. You share honest communication.

2. You share similar values.

3. You both have an expressed desire to be in the relationship and make to flourish.

4. You experience passion in bed.

5. You both follow through on what is said.

6. You respect each other’s life path.

7. You respect each other’s spiritual values.

8. You support each other in your careers and life purpose.

9. You have a real friendship.

10. You know each other’s friends and family.

11. You’re available for each other in case of an emergency.

12. You’re able to reach mutually agreeable solutions for differing opinions or preferences.

13. You talk out what is bothering you.

14. You acknowledge each other on special days such as birthday and holidays.

15. You can confide in each other.

16. You have a solid sense of self and the courage to speak up when something bothers you.

17. You know where you stand with each other.

18. You work out problems rather than run away from them.

19. You show each other respect in public and in private.

20. You honor and listen to what the other person is trying to communicate.

21. You share similar views on lifestyle.

22. You allow each other time alone.

23. You each allow the other to be who he is and don’t try to change him.

24. You each control your own individual finances.

25. You talk openly about changes you see happening in the other person and in yourself.

26. Both of you are single and completely available.

27. You show love, care, and respect to children you may have.

28. You share a vision together for the future.

29. You can work as a team.

30. You can each allow small quirks to go over your head, without a fuss.

31. You can say how you really feel.

32. You both honor and respect the other person’s feelings.

33. The relationship has zero verbal, physical and mental abuse–including put-downs and degrading comments.

34. The relationship has zero jealousy, games, and manipulation.

35. You have real dates.

36. After time, you create a full life together.

37. You take short (or long) vacations together.

38. If you live together, you share responsibilities equally.

39. Each of you monitors yourself and not the other person.

40. You both do what you want to do and allow the other person to do the same.

41. You respect each other’s exploration of new interests.

42. You know where you stand sexually and are honest with each other about it.

43. If you love each other and are having great difficulties that you want to work out, you seek professional counseling.

44. You are fully supportive of each other’s individual expression.

45. You treat each other as The One.

46. You talk to each other rather than to your friends or family about what is bothering you.

47. You do small things for each other out of kindness and love.

48. You let each other know in words and actions that you are there and can be counted on.

49. You take risks by being your authentic self in all areas.

50. You are completely honest, from your heart, and you don’t hide your truth because of the fears in your head.

Partial chapter excerpt © Copyright 2012 by Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved. from Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE. Published by The Rose Group (April, 2005) ISBN: 0974145742. An Amazon # 1 Relationship Bestseller.


By Barbara Rose, PhD| Bestselling Author 33 Books| Higher Self Relationship & Life Transformation Expert| SAG-AFTRA

Bestselling Author of 33 Books| Global Higher Self Relationship & Life Transformation Expert| Public Speaker| Actor SAG-AFTRA

6 replies on “50 Reasons to Stay in a Relationship: Excerpt from Stop Being the String Along”

Dear Barbara: Wow! What an eye-opener. I am a gay man in a relationship with another man since 3 years. I counted 34 “pros” that apply, but the 16 “cons” are huge in my estimation (glad this is anonymous). Among the 16; my partner doesn’t keep what I confide in him to himself; always blabs to others when he’s mad so our personal life is out in the open. He keeps leaving and then comes back, so I don’t know where I stand. He runs away instead of dealing with issues. He clearly doesn’t treat me like “The One”. Worst of all, he’s extremely hurtful, insulting, always brings up my past errors, and yes, he’s violent, and because I’ve had to fight back several times to defend myself, I’ve had to hurt him to make him stop; and I am really, honestly, not a violent person; I’ve never hit or pushed another person in all my life. Violence terrifies me, and I don’t like that I’ve been pulled into this kind of thing. He left again, with all his stuff, and he’s now at his mother’s place. I love him so much, and I know he’s a tortured soul who needs so much love, patience and understanding, but I can’t be the one anymore to give it to him. I will mention here that I do have the loving support of my family and good friends, so I’m okay. I just need to wake up and let go of him, which is not easy because there is so much sweetness about him, and we’ve had some beautiful moments in our relationship. Nonetheless, even with the other issues aside, violence in a relationship is never an option, no matter how good the times may have been in the past. So glad I found this page. Thank you, Barbara! Regards, Ron.


I was confused by “26. Both of you are single and completely available.” when the article title is “Reasons to Stay in a Relationship”.


what do you do if you’ve been married for 9 yrs. and the intimacy seems to have died. but you can confidently say the other 49 on the list fit your marriage well.


Dear Monica,
I’m first seeing your question now. Definitely STAY IN the marriage. The intimacy will re-kindle from time to time. This is natural. Go on a “date” with your spouse. Do something special together that you both love. It doesn’t have to cost anything, a walk on the beach, or in the park – become like kids again. Laughter is GREAT for intimacy. Don’t “try too hard” then it will feel like pressure. Show gratitude for all of the little things – this always helps a lot! I sincerely hope this helps you!


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