By Barbara Rose, PhD
Did you learn to cater to others to win approval and validation? Did you find that once you learned that pattern, it was like a vicious cycle? I did. No matter how much I gave and did, I still never felt validated. I still searched for approval.
The traits that you have learned to disown within yourself are the very traits that will set you free to be all of who you truly are–once you own them.
You, just like me,
Must face your truth at all times and in every area of your life. It is only by living out your truth, when your mind, heart, words, and actions are all congruent, all perfectly aligned, that you will begin to feel whole. And as a result, your self-esteem is going to skyrocket.
we strive for acceptance at the expense of the higher knowing in our heart, our truth, and what we genuinely believe is good for us. We sacrifice it all for the sake of acceptance.
There is no thing you can gain on the outside that will make you more worthy, lovable, or accepted.
It is also pivotal for you to understand that the goal of knowing yourself has nothing to do with material gain; the goal is to express that which brings you profound joy. That expression is the reason you came into this life to begin with.
You have a purpose.
It is called service. Service is not servitude. The service I am speaking of comes from within your heart. The joy you feel from authentically serving cannot ever be taken away from you because its expression is you!
Many people I have met are just like you and me: our greatest adversities in life became our greatest teachers once we decided to seek a higher perspective rather than remaining stuck, feeling victimized. Once we took personal responsibility to create new circumstances from our truth, we began to create a new life.
What you feel passionate about matters. It is your individual expression of the divine within that cannot ever be duplicated.
It is paramount
that you release all self-judgment. The voice of the critical parent in your mind must be transformed into the voice of your dearest and best friend–and that friend must be you.
You cannot be effective, take risks, and expose your authentic purpose when you have much self-doubt and criticism blocking the divine flow of your energy. You can only create and give birth to your greatest self when you accept all of yourself from this moment–now–exactly as you are.
Never put anyone above or below you.
Release all judgment of yourself and others.
Release all false beliefs that anything outside of you will bring you permanent peace of mind and joy.
Realize that expressing your joy in whatever capacity you can and giving from your heart whatever you are able to give are virtues that will reward you.
When you begin to feel miserable
No matter what you have or don’t have on the outside, examine the storm clouds in your mind and notice how they have gathered so much momentum by unconsciously following the ego’s direction that you find yourself feeling anxious, worried, and in deep pain.
To train your mind is simply a matter of becoming aware of exactly what is going through it, a matter of noticing it and acknowledging it just as you would a passing cloud, and then consciously redirecting your focus to something beneficial and positive.
This does not mean that you ignore or disregard a negative situation. It means that you turn the negative around to find the gifts within it and ask yourself what you can do now to improve your feelings and situation.
One thing you must always remember: there is an indwelling divine spirit within you that no condition can ever extinguish.
Excerpt © Copyright 2005, 2012 by Barbara Rose, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved. from Know Yourself: A Woman’s Guide to Wholeness, Radiance & Supreme Confidence. Published by The Rose Group (January 2005) ISBN: 0974145742