Being Enough NOW Exclusive Excerpt

Being Good Enough

What if I told you that you are good enough right now, exactly as you are? Would you
believe me? I would venture to say that most people who pick up this book would have to
answer with a resounding “No.” I would also venture to say that, just as I used to do, you
might be placing certain arbitrary conditions on your worth and your value as a human
being, such as your appearance, finances, social accomplishments, or any number of
conditions that may be unique to your situation.

What do you believe would make you good enough right now? Think about this for a
moment and then go ahead and fill in the blank. Do you first need to look a certain way?
Do you first need a lover (for the rest of your life)? Do you need to make some sort of
accomplishment in society? If you can answer yes to any of those conditions, do you
really believe that once those conditions are met then you will be good enough?
Guess what? If you believe that any outer condition will create your worth -- the worth
that you feel you don’t have right now -- then you believe a pure lie.

What about after you reach your goal? What happens when you actually achieve
whatever you have deemed to make you worthy? What about after that time? Will you
then be afraid of losing what or who you are? And what if you did? Would you then
suddenly go back to being worthless or not as worthy as you were five minutes before
that loss?

The Name Game

Exclusive Excerpt Being Enough NOW © Copyright 2008 by Barbara Rose, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.
You most likely find yourself playing the name game in your mind on a regular basis,
and I can fully relate because I used to deceive myself in the same way when I believed I
was not yet good enough.
The names of all the things I needed to be happy were: the perfect weight, secure
finances, a boyfriend, a husband, a new home, a nicer car, prettier jewelry, social status,
oh, and of course looking like a cover model was mandatory. Well, I may not look like a
cover model now, but there was a time when I was a model and I was miserable!

I was more insecure when I was at the height of physical beauty years ago than I ever was
before in my life or have been since.

Oh, you may be thinking, Sure, it’s easy for her to talk; she’s an author, what does she
know about struggling?

Unfortunately, I happen to be more familiar with struggling than I would like to
remember.

I struggled when I did not have money to buy food and feed my children on my weekend
visitation. I struggled with weight. I struggled in romantic relationships that were
emotionally painful. I struggled to somehow find myself. I struggled with thinking that if
only I were a famous actress, then I would be “somebody.”

I struggled to uproot each of those false beliefs, because even though I did not remain in
my acting career, I still worked on the set of major motion pictures and CBS sitcoms, and
I still did not feel worthy. So then I thought that once I became an author I would be
important and thus feel worthy. Well, when my first book was published and I received a
box full of copies of my book, I actually cried that night. I thought I would feel elated,
thrilled, and celebratory. No. I felt lonely, and if you think a box of paperback books with
my name on the cover made me feel worthy, I can let you know right now that they did
not.

Conditions of Worth

I felt no more worthy or better about myself when that first box was delivered than I did
the day before.

I realized and learned that our worth, this elusive quality so many search for, can never,
ever be obtained from outside of us. If it could be, we would all be buying it.

And isn’t that what we’re actually doing so many times when we buy certain things?
I used to shop unlike anyone I had ever met, so I can tell you firsthand that buying the
latest styles, clothing, handbags, and jewelry didn’t do a darn thing to satisfy what my
head perceived as a condition that would make me more worthy.

I learned that opening my heart, sharing painful lessons with others, and finding it in my
soul to dig out pure worth was a long and arduous process.

It took me years to undo all of the low self worth so that I could feel equal to you.

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ISBN-13: 9780978895525