The More I Awaken the Less I Want
A Personal Writing By Barbara Rose, Ph.D.

The More I Awaken the Less I Want

The less I want the more peace I have

The more peace I have I give to see you smile

The more you smile the more gratitude I feel

The more gratitude I feel the more I attract

The more I attract the more attention I receive

The more attention I receive the more I want to run away

With a repulsed feeling, actually and literally disgusted,

It feels like I just opened my eyes and am seeing life on earth in a whole new light, and this light is repulsive.

It seems that planet earth is ON SALE.

BUY, BUY BUY – every hour of every day, every TV and radio,

The newspapers, the gossip, buy this get another one free.

Then I awaken a little more and the repulsion turns into compassion for people who are where I just came from – stuck and bound by the desires of the ego,

A slave to desire, how freeing it is to not “want” anymore.

My life was an eternal shopping binge after binge.

Now that I don’t want anything, what are you going to try to sell me?

I think the only thing I would “buy” would be a vacation. I would spend the days and evenings on the beach. I would rest, restore, rejuvenate, relax, and replenish my physical body so my soul can carry on in this life that feels so heavy – bound by material things.

The dense and heavy weight I feel makes me wish I could live in a different system of living, another planet, another realm. There’s got to be more than “life on earth.” I suppose it will only be after this life that I’ll discover where that place is.

But earth herself is and can be heaven on earth.

The smiles of my children, the laughter of small children playing and running around.

This is what is so precious – so priceless, and filled with so much meaning.

So now that one of earth’s biggest shoppers doesn’t want to buy things just to have more things, where does this energy go? Ah, it goes into traveling.

Yes, this I truly look forward to; traveling around the globe giving helpful talks and workshops that can help people live far better than they are now from the inside out.

And the ‘better’ life has nothing at all to do with obtaining – it is all about expressing.

EXPRESSION is why we are here. Not to accumulate but to create.

To expand, reach our hand out and touch the stars.

Yes, dreamy that may sound

But when we extend a smile to another soul

We have brought a piece of heaven on to earth.

So when someone such as I, a flawed shopper who no longer desires to shop has a complete transformation in this area – life becomes all about giving.

It does not matter what the giving is, the only thing that matters is that I and you experience JOY during the PROCESS of giving. Within each giving moment there is a smile that is a loving and pure balm that soothes our heart.

With a soothed heart, I can create more.

The more I create, the better I feel

The better I feel, the more I want to create.

And now the cycle is complete;

Life is all about creation.

© Copyright 2008 Barbara Rose, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

3/27/2008 5:05:52 AM – started writing

Thursday, March 27, 2008

3/27/2008 5:30:12 AM – completed writing