By Barbara Rose, Ph.D.
There was a time in my life that I used to put myself down. I found fault with everything on the inside, everything on the outside, and every area where I was just not good enough. This time period lasted most of my life. I would venture to say that I am not alone in this, and that perhaps there might be a time that you also put yourself down. Did it ever do you any good? Did it help you, or help you to overcome your challenges? Did putting yourself down and finding fault with yourself ever lead you to feel that you are, in fact, a worthy human being who is equally worthy along with the rest of the human race?</p><p>I would venture to say that your answer would be no.
Playing small is not doing anyone a favor. Playing larger than others is also not much of a pure contribution to our world. What about playing fairly? How about being fair with yourself?
It’s true that none of us are perfect. We are not machines, and even machines at times could use a tune up.
When you put yourself down, it is like you are destroying the goodness that you really are. It’s wonderful to feel modest, and it’s wonderful to feel that you are just as valuable as any other human being. When you cur yourself down either within your own mind, or out loud to others, nothing valuable is truly being expressed.
If you put yourself down, it is time that a spring cleaning begins within your mind. Here are some suggestions that you might find useful.</p><p>Notice when you are thinking about yourself in a degrading way.
Become consciously aware of the thoughts that are swirling through your mind.
Then, rather than allow them to swirl, and allow them to be verbalized, stop yourself for just one moment.
Ask yourself if there is a kinder comment you could be saying about yourself. Perhaps you are caring, or loving. Perhaps you have a great sense of humor. Perhaps there is nothing truly wrong with you other than what you might have been led to believe by others. Perhaps, if you truly think about it, you are not as bad as you might make yourself out to be.
Anyone can have a rough day, lose patience, or simply lose sight of their true essence. All of the goodness inside of your heart is who you truly are.</p><p>Your goodness is your value and worth as a human being, equal to all other human beings. What you look like, own, drive, achieve, succeed or fail at has absolutely nothing to do with the goodness inside of your heart. THAT is who you really are.
Imagine making the conscious choice to stop all self degrading comments. Imagine applying the old saying “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” to yourself. What if you applied this to yourself? You would speak about the truth that is not based on anything outside of the goodness inside of your heart. Imagine that you brought out all of the goodness you truly have within you, and replaced that with the negative comments. Then, you would be doing both yourself any many others a nice favor. You would set an example of being good enough simply by sharing and expressing the goodness you have within your heart and this example would touch the lives of others in a positive way.</p><p>Imagine if everyone only expressed their goodness, because this is what they were focusing on instead of the no good, degrading, destructive negative commentary. Can you imagine how much better people would feel? Can you imagine how much better you would feel?
Give it a try. Cease all negative self talk, and instead, speak about what is good, both on the inside and on the outside. Focus on what you value within you, especially the qualities you have. Then, bring them out in some form of expression from your heart simply because it would bring you joy to do this.
What are your natural talents? What are your natural states of being that cause you to feel alive? Did you ever have an experience when you felt vibrant and alive, even for just a few minutes? What were you doing? What qualities were you expressing? This is what would do you a world of good to both remember, as well as get in touch with again.
Being hard on yourself is not doing yourself any sort of favor, and it is certainly not truly helping anyone else either. So, why bother? Be kind to yourself instead. Start to take personal responsibility to catch the negative mind banter, and replace it with positive truth.
Start to bring that truth out as an example of being a human being with a good nature, and expressing that good nature to yourself and all others. Then you would truly be doing both yourself and others a bigger favor than you may realize. You can set a modest and pure example of being someone who is good enough simply by being. Every person deserves to feel this basic and pure worth. None of it is truly outside of you, although it can be expressed in many kind ways. Its expression can only come out from within you when you get in touch with all of the good you really are.
Remember this the next time you put yourself down. Remember to speak about the truth instead of the lies you may still believe. When all is said and done, after conscious effort, this will be the new way that you view yourself, and this view will naturally spread to how you view others; with compassion instead of judgment.
Rather than playing small, play from the goodness inside of your heart. You will always go right, and can never fail. You will feel better, and the people around you will feel better in your presence. As you get in touch with all of your goodness something wonderful happens; it’s all you truly express.
© Copyright 2012 by Barbara Rose, PhD All Rights Reserved.